Sven, the Swedish Salesman

First of all. he wasn’t called Sven. I don’t know what he was called. – and he didn’t come from Sweden- he was from Holland. As for being a Salesman, thats what it said on his business card. No! I must be fair, he described himself as something between a physiotherapist and a chiropractor.  This sounded interesting. He sounded interesting.  He told us that he once had a hairdressing salon oin Tenerife, and then he met his wife, who stole his heart and brought it to Britain. Ah, Good Old Britain, Stolen many a heart no doubt!  He has 2 children, a girl and a boy- the girl 6and half years old, born on 11th June and the little boy 2 and half who would always thank him for being born on Christmas day. 

When he came into our house, we were curious as to what he had to offer, and indeed asked him to demonstrate his product. The product was a massaging bed, but as it was 5.30 pm, and he was eager to get home to his” faithless faithful wife and children”, he wished to demonstrate without the massaging appliance!

Reaching for Foam filled cushions that made up the Sofa seats and arms, he proceeded to place them on the parquet floor. “Did they resemble bed?” he asked. We nodded with aghast amazement at this show!

Getting down on his hand and knees , we were told he would “further demostate action of this unique massaging bed”. Lying down, face up, he put his arms up in the air, and seemingly squeezed balls of air.

“Me and  wife have a routine…” he said.  Shocked into complete embarrassment, we nodded even more vehemently as his bottom jiggered up and down extremely quickly. Our faces contorted with the struggle against laughter.

“Stop that”, I said, “you will hurt your back!”  He stopped.  Picked himself up, put the cushions back. Sat down, and asked, “what do you think? Will you buy it?”

“How much is the Super Lux ?”, We questioned,  “$3000.00″ he said confidently, a huge smile on his face. We were silent, but very happy at being  so very amused in such an innovative way. “We will need to think about it”, we told him.

“Okay” he said, finishing his very polished and professional sales pitch with, “well, I think you like me, so I think you will ring and say yes, I want this wonderful massaging bed.”

“Thank you” we said, and led him to the front door.  “I will speak to you tomorrow” he shouted as he got in his car.

Worth every penny of $3000.00, but who needs a massaging bed, when Sven the Swedish Salesman can take all your aches away instantly! – and for Free.