Every one has to go through this process once in a life unless you are possibly some millionaire’s spoiled son. So here I was, going to be interviewed for a lucrative DBA position in an esteemed organization. I don’t know why the DBA position was offering such a lucrative pay but who cared and as more than half the professionals bluff about their extensive experience in the position they are applying for I also bluffed about how I had been the administrator of all DB’s in the 5 mile radius of my cubicle, and how I had been a hero every day saving all the DBs from crashing.

With a well ironed shirt and trousers and an inverted noose on my neck I walked towards the room where the interview panel sat waiting to possibly massacre me as I imagined me being piked and heated in a cannibal fire.

Knock Knock!!

“Can I come in” I asked with a voice confident enough to even startle Al-Qaida and give up their arms.

“Yes come in and take a seat Mr. Kumar” said an equally confident voice from inside which would have made me pee in my pants.

I went in, sat and stared at each of the 3 people opposite to me as if I was ready for a duel but before even I could take out my guns the laser beams from their eyes burnt a hole in my holster. Well, bad try with trying to dominate the interview with my voice and eye contact. The introductions started, but inside my mind I named the panelists as the fat guy, the bald guy and the dumb guy.

All smiled nasty smiles as if they were just waiting for a guy like me and the fat guy asks the first thing “So Kumar tell us about your job experience”

“Well fattie I think you should have read my resume before I came”,

Confused he says “Kumar we need to hear it in your words”

“Well baldie nee naa nau kau bau cho po ko brrrrrrrrrrr! Do you want to hear more?”

“What did you mean?”

“Well you said use my own words”

Totally out of his wits the bald guy says “I don’t think you understand the seriousness of this interview, if you behave like this we will not only black list you for ever from our organizations interview process but also will send a report about your behavior to all HR’s across all MNC’s”

“Dude who cares what you do, but I surely would tell you one thing baldie, use navratna oil it is good for your hair, the special four hairs you have at the corners of ur head”

Dumb guy realized the issue only now and awakes from his pseudo consciousness and says “Kumar what is your problem? You can leave any time you wish, we are done”

“Hey Dumbo you atlast woke up, I thought you wont come back from lala land till the interview is over”

“Get the shit out of here” and a splatter of the copies of my resume comes towards my face and I duck and get up and say “You missed” and I walked out and blew a kiss towards the old receptionist sitting in the alley and smiled just and as I turned, I bumped into some pillar or something I woke up and noticed the Fat guys face over my face. “Kumar are you alright”

“What happened what happened” I shouted trying to notice my surroundings, my pants were wet; there were ten or fifteen people around me and I was on the floor.

The baldie replied “You fell unconscious just after we asked about your work experience, did you not have your breakfast? Young kids like you are trying to be competitive but never realize to be patient and calm”

The dumb guy says “It is ok, are you able to get up Kumar or do you need help, are you feeling ok………..” and then I shook my head, not sure as a yes or a no and I felt hands carrying me towards a rest area or dorm in the office. My wet pant emitted a sour stench…