There are many things that you should not do on your first day of work.  These are not going to be in any specific order. So please read and enjoy.

1. Show up late- Do not show up late because it just looks very unprofessional.
2. Ask for a raise- I should not even need to tell you why.
3. Try to be the funny guy- You should not try that because there is likely to already be a funny guy and since you do not know your way around you will end up looking like a retard.
4. Quit-  Why would you even have applied for the job if your gonna quit?

Well, that is all I could really think of.  I would very much appreciate if you would leave comments and send links to friends.  I would also be happy if you checked out my other articles.  If your thinking no this article sucked why would I visit the other ones.  The answer is simple my other articles are way better.  My two best articles are How to Find Your Internet Password and 10 Deadliest Animals in Australia.  To find these articles simply click on my user name on this page or type my user name on google.