Where I work the vendors visit quite frequently and the crap they bring often winds up stuffed away in a drawer never to see the light of day.  Don’t get me wrong, I love free stuff but after four year’s I’ve accumulated an assortment of items that defy explanations.  Usually I take a few and use them as stocking fillers at Christmas but just today I was made to change desks and I dreaded moving all the junk.  Because I couldn’t find a box, I spent about forty-five minutes going back and forth from old desk to new desk, carting around crap that I’ll never use. 

The environment I work in tends to have a high turnover so, unlike my co-workers, I have numerous items they have never seen.  On occasion I have to “floor walk” and take this time to hand out trinkets I’ve no use for, but I haven’t done this in a while and the crap has really piled up.

My new desk looked like a Smurf’s garage sale had exploded and I had no problem letting people stop by and pick up an item or two but as I continued to walk back and forth, the expressions and whispers were getting obnoxious.  Finally, after I had taken everything out of the old desk and was busy setting up my new mess I turned to my new neighbor and asked her what was going on. 

At first she was reluctant, but finally she sighed and told me.  “They’re laughing at your anal plug.”

“My what!”  I screamed, pawing through the junk on my desk.

“That,” she said pointing to my strange little highlighter.

“That isn’t an anal plug.”  I said grabbing the small white object off my desk.

“It looks like it.”

That pissed me off but she was right.  It was the thickness of a C-Battery and the length of a pinkie finger and it stood on end and bobbed like a “Weeble Wobble”.  They all must think I am a freak!  “How would you know what an anal plug looks like?”

Her face turned beet red and I smirked, I now something interesting about my new neighbor, but a moment later my stomach turned thinking about that very thing.  I think maybe it was time to throw this thing out. 

It was late in the evening and I was closing so before long the floor was pretty empty.  As the day came to a close I realized I had left my lunchbox in the freezer and headed back through the double doors to get it.  On my way back I opened the door and saw one of the guys bent over my trashcan retrieving my highlighter.  My brain locked.  Damn, I knew it! And he’s such a cutie too!