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20 Signs You Need a New Kitchen
How do you know when your kitchen is a danger to the environment?
- At night, you have to lock the bedroom door so that you don’t get caught in the crossfire during a cockroach and rat turf war
- Your wife only enters the kitchen in a biohazard protection suit
- You have to hide the knives so that the refrigerator doesn’t try to kill itself again
- The garbage piles and scraps frequently breathe deeply and snore
- You start sinking when you walk in the kitchen
- Guests are given gas masks
- When you leave vegetables in there, they melt or they turn bright colours
- You don’t have to put the medicine or cleaning agents in high cupboards. The children won’t even enter the kitchen.
- You don’t need dustbins anymore. You just feed it to the kitchen.
- When anyone tries to wash the dishes, they are dirtier than they were to begin with
- When your children get naughty, you threaten them with food from the kitchen
- In your house, kitchen is a swear word and whenever it is said, you vomit uncontrollably
- The Government use your kitchen to produce uranium
- You hired cleaners to clean the kitchen. When you showed them where to clean, they vomited and ran out the house screaming.
- You bought a fire hose and tried to hose the kitchen, but the garbage piles just ate the hose
- Your dog went in there once. Your whole family is still looking for it.
- To make the kitchen look nicer, you bought a new table and chairs. When you came back, they were on fire.
- The police use the food in your kitchen to make bulletproof armour
- The State Government uses your kitchen instead of an electric chair. They just leave the criminal in there and the noxious fumes kill him.
- Your dishwasher insults you regularly
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5 Comments
oh my goodness this is hilarious!
This is the most awesomost thing in the world !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice work Nic. I might try a few of these sort of things.
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I *love* #9!!