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Absolutely Pointless Jokes

Published by Travis Cornwall in Jokes
August 23rd, 2007

Are stupid jokes even worth reading?

One

A man goes to see a lawyer, who works on the top floor of a very large building. When he arrives, he asks the lady at the counter where he could find the lawyer. She says that he is on the top floor, but seeing as the lift is broken he will have to walk up the stairs. The man has no problem with this, so begins his ascent. On the first set of stairs there is a large box. So the man goes back down the stairs to the lady at the counter and asks her how he could keep going. She says to him that he should go over the box and keep going up the stairs. So he listens to her and starts going up the stairs, before going over the box. On the next flight of stairs he comes across a large ball, so goes down the stairs, over the box and asks the lady at the counter how he should get past it. She says to him that he should just go round it, so he heads over the box, up some more stairs and goes around the ball.

On the next set of stairs he comes across a giant teddy bear, so goes back round the ball, down the stairs, over the box, and once again asks the lady how he should get past it. She calmly tells him to put it to one side of the staircase and continue going up the stairs. So he heads back over the box, up the stairs, round the ball, up the stairs, moves the teddy bear to one side and up the stairs. He finally reaches the level he needed to be on, except there is a giant monster blocking the way! So the man goes down the stairs, moves the teddy bear to one side, down the stairs, round the ball, down the stairs, over the box and arrives at the counter once again.

In panic he yells at the lady, asking her how the hell is he gunna get past that! And she calmly says to him to just squeeze past it so that he doesn’t wake him up. So the man goes over the box, up the stairs, round the ball, up the stairs, moves the teddy bear to one side, up the stairs to the top floor. As he squeezes past the monster, he brushes the tiniest hair on its body, which wakes up the beast. In fright the man goes down the stairs, puts the teddy bear to one side, down the stairs, goes round the ball, down the stairs, over the box, down the stairs and out into the reception, before trying to hide behind a pot plant.

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4 Comments
  1. Dom
    Posted September 12, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Don’t forget the one about the two race horses, Bill and Ted.

    http://domstat.wordpress.com/2008/09/12/bill-ted-the-conclusion/

  2. sally
    Posted May 8, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    2 more for ya:

    A man has three houses, he’s driving home from work one day and relises that his first house is on fire, he sees a little red man running away from his house and decides to chase him “lil red man, lil red man” but the little red man is too quick and manages to get away, so the man rings the fire brigade and tells them wat happend. They advise him to go to his second house while they put the fire out in his first.

    When he arrives at his second house he relises that it is also on fire and once again sees this little red man running away. He chases the little red man down the street “lil red man, lil red man” but the little red man is too quick and gets away again. So he dicides to go to his thrid house.

    On arrival he notices that this house is on fire too, and he sees the little red man running away, before the little red man manages to get away he blocks of the exit from the drive and finally manages to catch the little red man. By this time the man is tottally knacked and says “lil red man, lil red man, did you burn my house down?” the little red man replied “No!”

    LOL

    Jesus was on his cross, there’s a crowd of people watching and his disciple john was stood at the back of the crowd. Jesus said “John come quick” so john ran all the way through the crown and came to some gaurds, the gaurds asked john where he was going, John replied “I’m going to see jesus” they said, no your not, chopped his arms off and threw him to the back of the crowd.

    Once again Jesus shouted John, John come quick i need you, so John came running through the crowd where he came to the gaurds again. The gaurds asked john where he was going and he told them he was going to see Jesus. The gaurds told him he wasn’t, chopped off his legs and threw him to the back of the crowd.

    Then John heard Jesus shouting John, i really need you, come quick. So poor john with no arms or legs chinned himself all the way through the crowd where he was met by the gaurds. Where are you going asked the gaurds. I’m going to see Jesus said John. The gaurds thought for a moment and then said, well you’ve got no arms or legs so i supose you can’t do any harm, go ahead. So John carried on chinning his way all the way up the hill and finally reached Jesus.

    John said, My lord God im here, what is it?

    Jesus replied: John, I can see your house from here!!

    :]

  3. Blake
    Posted November 20, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    all i want for christamas jokes:1. alliwantforchristamasisforspaces 2.ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS LOWERCASE LETTERS 3. all i want for christmas is for christmas is a piece of hair.

  4. michaela
    Posted December 4, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    i got a stupid joke. what does the mama chicken say when she goes into a store and opens a carton of eggs.
    oh no
    oh wait chickens cant talk lol

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