The blonde stormed into the library, walked up to the front desk and said, “Excuse me, but I have a complaint.”

“Yes?” said the librarian.

“I borrowed a book from here a few days ago and it was just awful,” complained the blonde.

“What was wrong with it?” the librarian asked.

“First of all, it had way too many characters, plus it had no plot whatsoever!” the blonde explained.

“Ahh, I see,” replied the librarian. “You must be the person who took our phone book.”

“Excuse me, sir, but could you tell me what time it is?” the blonde asked a man at a newstand.

“Sure,” he replied, “it’s two forty-five.”

“Thank you,” she said, with a puzzled look on her face. “You know, it’s the strangest thing … I’ve been asking that question all day long and each time I get a different answer.”

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Los Angeles to Toronto, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. No need to worry though … we can fly just fine on two engines.

An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our flight will be delayed yet another three hours. No need to worry though … we still have one engine left.”

At that point, a young blonde turned to the passenger in the next seat and exclaimed, “Boy, if we lose one more engine we’re going to be up here all day!”

Two bowling teams, one made up of all blondes and the other brunettes, chartered a double-decker bus for a weekend tournament. The blonde team was riding on the top level and the brunette team on the bottom.

The brunette team was hooting and hollering and having a great time when one of them suddenly realized she didn’t hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. Reaching the top of the stairs, she found the blondes looked like they were frozen in fear. All of them were clutching the seats in front of them and staring straight ahead at the road.

“What’s going on up here?” the brunette asked. “We’re having such a great time downstairs.”

“Yeah, but you have a driver!” exclaimed one of the blondes.

Not realizing that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard, a blonde inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a flight to Chicago.

“The next flight to Chicago departs at 1:00 PM,” the ticket agent said, “and arrives at 1:01 PM.”

“Would you mind repeating that, please?” asked the blonde.

The agent repeated the information and then asked, “Would you care to make a reservation, sir?”

“No, thank you,” replied the blonde, “but I do think I’ll stick around and watch that thing take off.”

A beautiful blonde woman boards a flight to New York with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then at the ones up ahead in first class. Deciding that the first class seats look much larger and far more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty seat. When the flight attendant checks her ticket, she tells the woman that her seat is in coach.

“I’m young, blonde and beautiful,” the blonde says, “and ‘I’m going to sit here all the way to New York.”

The flustered flight attendant goes to the cockpit and tells the captain about the problem she’s having with the blonde. The captain goes back and tells the blonde her assigned seat is in coach and she’ll have to move.

“I’m young, blonde and beautiful and I’m going to sit here all the way to New York,” says the blonde.

Not wanting to cause a commotion, the captain returns to the cockpit and discusses the blonde with his co-pilot. Since the co-pilot has a blonde girlfriend, he tells the captain he can take care of the situation. The co-pilot goes back to where the blonde is sitting and whispers something in her ear.

She immediately gets up, hugs the co-pilot, says, “Thank you so much”, and hurries back to her seat in the coach section.

Observing all of this, the curious flight attendant and captain ask the co-pilot what he had said to the blonde.

“I told her the first class section isn’t going to New York,” he replies.

A blonde walks up to a soda machine, puts in a coin and out pops a drink. Totally amazed, she runs to get some more coins and returns to the machine. She quickly begins to feed one coin after the other into the machine and it keeps feeding out drinks.

Suddenly a man who’s been standing there waiting taps her on the shoulder. “Excuse me, but could I have a go at the machine, please?”

“Not while I’m on a winning streak!” she replies.

A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11 o’clock news on TV which was showing a man about to commit suicide. “I’ll bet you twenty dollars he goes ahead and jumps,” the brunette says.

The blonde thinks about it for a moment and replies, “Ok, you’re on!”

They continue watching and, sure enough, the man jumps.

As the blonde is reaching for her wallet, the brunette says, “I can’t take your money. I watched the 6 o’clock news so I already knew the man would jump.”

Frowning, the blonde replies, “Well I watched the 6 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he’d be stupid enough to jump again.”

There is a plane that has taken off with 6 blonds and one brunette holding onto its wings.
It is so heavy that one person has to drop as otherwise the plane with crash.
The brunette says that she will let go and fall to her death, as she is saying this she tells the blondes just to remember her and tell her boyfriend how she dies.
 After saying this all the blondes give her a round of applause.