Here are ten things that you should never say to Dirty Harry:

1. Do you ever smile? Your scowl seems to be permanently plastered
2. Why do they call you Dirty Harry? Is it because you never take a shower?
3. Are you related to Jack Bauer? You should get together. You have a lot in common.
4. My what a nice big gun you have. What do you call it? Wait, I know. It’s a .44 Magnum. Could you really blow somebody’s head off? No, I really don’t need a demonstration.
5. Why do you squint so much? Do you ever wear sunglasses?
6. How would you like to have a lottery ticket? Do you feel lucky?
7. Hey buddy, how would you like to buy this real hot watch?
8. I’m not a punk. You’re the punk. Isn’t it funny, but your fist is the size of my mouth. Isn’t that a strange coincidence?
9. Did anyone ever tell you that you have some serious anger issues? I’m here to make your day more pleasant and relaxing. Just give old Barney the Dinosaur a great big hug. If it will make you happy, just give me a view solid punch. You can knock the stuffing out of me.
10. It’s none of your business what I do with my women. What’s that? If I don’t change my occupation, you’re going to bust my what? Yes sir, I understand completely sir.