Guess Which Celebrity Died Today?

     As far as I know, no one did.  Although it’s early.  Give it a few hours, and I’m sure the rumor mill will kick out a story about someone kicking the bucket.  Over the course of the last year, there have been widespread internet reports of dozens upon dozens of celebrities finding an early demise.  Eminem, Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton, Will Farrell, John Goodman, Bruce Willis, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake….  We’ve all been duped into thinking they passed on at some point or another.  Hell, Eminem has been dying in the same car crash since 2001.  Miley Cyrus bites the dust every 2 weeks or so.  And Britney Spears?  She checks out every 20 minutes or so.

     Tom Hanks is still with us, as is George Clooney.  Jeff Goldblum is still here, although no one seems to care.  Ellen Degeneres is still lesbianing it up, and will do so on American Idol this year no matter how many times she dies.  Paula Abdul hasn’t passed on, although what was left of her career has after turning over the American Idol reins to the aforementioned (and deceased) Ellen Degeneres.  Eddie Murphy’s movies may almost make us wish that we were on the list, but he is in fact still alive and kicking somewhere.

     Of course, there’s no mystery as to why we do this.  Michael Jackson’s death is still rumor and media fodder how many months later?  And be honest;  a week ago, would anyone have known who Britney Murphy was without some mention of Emenem?  We wait for our famous people to die; for whatever reason, it’s how we work.  It’s too bad, in some ways.  While it makes for good theatre,  Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, or Miley Cyrus (or one of the hoax victims) will actually kick the bucket some day… and no one will ever believe it.  When Eminem cashes in his chips, we’ll laugh and wait for the inevitable news to the contrary.  After all, he died in a car crash in 2001, right?

Also From Mnofdichotomy:

Brett Favre: Will The Gunslinger Go Out in Glory… or in Flames? 

Rapper Eminem Dead at Age 36 

T.I. Out of Jail; Headed for Half Way House 

Floyd Mayweather Is Afraid of Manny Pacquiao