The almighty Emperor Caesar of is talking with his generals in Rome.

“How goes the the invasion of Britain?”, he asks.

“Not so good Emperor Caesar. We have managed to conquer all of England and all of Wales, but we have had a lot of trouble with the Scots”, says one general.

“How do you mean?”, asks Caesar

“Well Sir, every time we send an army over the Scottish border, they just… disappear!”

Caesar is beside himself with rage.

“How can it be possible for entire armies to simply vanish? It’s utter nonsense!”.

So Caesar decides to see this for himself. He boards a ship to Britain with his finest warriors on board and two weeks later he arrives at the Scottish border. He has brought all his legions with him, an army of 20,000 men. “Right!”, he says “let’s see how cocky these Scots really are”.

At that moment, a wee highlander comes up from over a hill. He stands before Caesar and his armies and starts laughing manically. He shouts “Who here has the guts to fight me, one on one?”.

The wee man runs back over the other side of the hill out of sight.

Caesar, quite taken aback says to ten of his men, “Right you ten men, take care of this pest”.

So the ten soldiers walk up the hill and over the other side. Suddenly there is the sound of swords being drawn and then a chorus of screams and gurgling noises.

The wee man appears at the top of the hill again and shouts, “Is that all we’ve got Mr. Caesar?”.

He dances about and lifts his kilt to the emperor, then runs back over the other side of the hill out of sight.

“This is ridiculous!”, says Caesar.

He then instructs 100 soldiers to go and kill the wee Scot. The men march up the hill and then over the other side. Again there are sounds of battle coming from the other side of the hill. It lasts for a whole ten minutes. Then there is silence.

Unbelievably, the Scot appears at the top of the hill again laughing hysterically. “Ah come on! You’re all a big bunch of wimps”, he shouts. The wee man runs back over the other side of the hill out of sight.

“RIGHT! THAT’S IT! YOU ASKED FOR IT!” shouts Caesar, “CHARGE!”

With that, he sends forth the entire army. 19,890 men all march up and over the hill, leaving Caesar standing in a field by himself. There are screams, wails and cries coming from the other side of the hill. 20 minutes pass. Then 40 minutes, the noise still echoing through the highlands.

After an hour the noise stops. A single figure appears at the top of the and runs towards Caesar. It’s a Roman soldier. When he reaches Caesar he is out of breath, bruised, and with horrific injuries. He wails to Caesar “S-S-Sir… Sir! It’s a trap! It’s a trap… There’s two of them!”