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Jokes You Might Hear in the Mountains (But Probably Won’t)

Published by Ruby Hawk in Jokes
July 27th, 2008

These jokes are typical mountain jokes told earlier in the century. We aren’t likely to hear them again.

There was this feller that had an aunt who had passed on, and his buddy said, why are you crying? You never liked that ole woman anyway. And the feller said,”That’s right, and it was me that put her in the insane asylum. Now she’s left me all her money and I have to prove she was in her right mind.”

This feller went off to Alaska, he was gone for a long time, and he got this letter from his wife. He looked real worried and his buddy said,”what’s the matter, you got trouble at home?” And he said “Oh, lord, looks like we got a freak in the family. My wife says I wont recognize little Billy when I get home, he’s growed another foot.”

Two ladies were talking about what they would wear to the Legion Hall dance. One said, we are supposed to wear something to match our husband’s hair, so I reckon I will wear black, what’ll you wear? The other one turned sorta pale and said, “I don’t reckon I’ll go.”

A farmer was haulin manure, and the truck broke down in front of a mental institution, One of the patients leaned down over the fence and asked, What are you gonna do with your manure? The farmer said, I’m gonna put it on my strawberries. Feller says, we might be crazy but we put whipped cream on ours.

There was a census taker that went to a house and knocked on the door. A woman came out and he said, how many children you got and what are their ages? She said, Lets see, there’s the twins Morris and Boris, they’re 14. And there’s Ellie and Nellie, they’re 12. And there’s Tracy and Lacey, they’re 10. The feller said, “Hold on! Did you get twins every time? The woman said, Lordy no, they was hundreds of times we didn”t get anything.

There was an old woman who went to this young doctor. She was in there a few minutes when all at once’t she busted out hollering and ran down the hall. This older doctor ran after her and asked her,” What’s the problem? And she told him, the ole doc went back to the young doc and said, “What’s the dad gum matter with you? Miz Hessie is 65 years old. She’s got grown children and grandchildren-and you told her she was gonna have a baby? Young doc grinned, cured her hiccups didn’t it?

This feller went to the doctor and told him what all was wrong so the doctor gave him a load of advise about how to get well. The feller started to leave and the doctor said, “Wait a minute. You ain’t paid me for my advice.” That’s right,” the feller said; because I ain’t gonna take it.

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22 Comments
  1. Unofre Pili
    Posted July 27, 2008 at 9:23 am

    Nice humor. Thanks for the good laugh.

  2. valli
    Posted July 27, 2008 at 11:36 am

    Good jokes. I enjoyed a lot.

  3. PR Mace
    Posted July 27, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Thanks for a laugh and a clean joke.

  4. Moses Ingram
    Posted July 27, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    Good jokes, thanks for the chuckle.

  5. R.B. Parsley
    Posted July 27, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    Ruby,
    You know how to make a feller smile. Tanks a million for brightening my day. I especially liked the one about the hiccups. Fantastic.

    Randy

  6. Mark Gordon Brown
    Posted July 27, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    wife and I were just in the Mountains, and we never heard any of those.

  7. B Nelson
    Posted July 27, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    I like the manure on the strawberries one best!

  8. Anne Lyken-Garner
    Posted July 28, 2008 at 10:10 am

    Thanks for the laughs. Good jokes.

  9. Joe Poniatowski
    Posted July 29, 2008 at 7:31 am

    I’m sending these to my kids, thanks.

  10. Joe Poniatowski
    Posted July 29, 2008 at 7:34 am

    I’m sending these to my kids, thanks.

  11. Lost in Arizona
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    Oh dear! I needed a good laugh after the week I’ve had. Thanks. Loved the one about the 65 years old lady with cured hiccups.. lol..

  12. Ruby Hawk
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    Thanks everyone for your comments. I’m glad the old jokes gave you a few giggles. We all need a laugh once in awhile. I think my favorite is the one about the Legion Hall dance. Best of luck to all of you and yours. Ruby

  13. Amos
    Posted August 8, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    These jokes are old as dirt and are still funny. Thanks for digging them up.

  14. Ash Frog
    Posted August 12, 2008 at 10:12 am

    #6

    That’s probably why the title says “Jokes You Might Hear in the Mountains (But Probably Won’t)”

    On topic: nice jokes. The manure one was the best IMO.

  15. Mind1
    Posted August 16, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    These are funny and I don’t usually like jokes.

  16. Crissleigh
    Posted August 21, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    I love these Ruby . I am always looking for a good joke to tell my husband and son . I am sure they will get a kick out of them too . You are a real peach .

  17. Trish
    Posted August 24, 2008 at 10:01 pm

    You gave me a good laugh and I needed one bad. Thanks for digging these up and find more when you have time.

  18. Hannah
    Posted September 1, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    I like these jokes a lot. I can repeat these to my grandma and grandpa.

  19. Harold
    Posted September 8, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    These are still funny. I laughed while reading them.

  20. Kim Buck
    Posted September 13, 2008 at 7:46 am

    Love the one about the Legion Hall dance & hair!

    Thank you!

  21. Christian Archer
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 4:37 am

    The one about the twins especially slayed me! Thanks for the laughs :)

  22. Speed Limit
    Posted November 2, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    Good old stuff.

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