A psychiatric patient was being congratulated by his doctor for saving the life of his bed mate. The following discussion ensued:

Doctor: “Mr. Joe, you were really heroic today. What really happened?”

Joe: “Actually, it was nothing much, I just stopped the guy from drowning himself in the bath tub”.

Doctor: “So where is he now?”

Joe: “I hung him under the fan to dry!”

 In some countries when a baby is born, it is given a gentle slap to realize that life will be hard. Baby Hilary was smiling after the slap. He was given another slap, still he was laughing. Even after the third, he was laughing and louder. Then it was noticed that his right fist was closed. When they opened it, they found abortion pills. Woo…

A boy was admitted into the orthopaedic hospital for having a bow leg. Henry being a specialist worked on his two bow legs and finally succeeded in correcting and bringing the legs to normal. Mr. John, the father commended the Philip the orthopaedic for the work perfectly done. Philip being very scrupulous and accurate in work confirmed that a little work should be done on the legs to get perfect shape (90o angle). The second operation commenced the next day and at the end, the corrected legs turn into a k-leg instead.

Benjamin had high level of sugar in his blood and was asked to desist from alcoholic drink which is part of him (I mean, he is a drunkard). He when home and was greatly disturbed by this internal crisis in him. The next day he went back to the doctor demanding that the sickness he had should be substituted no matter what it cost him. The doctor accepted an offer of a token of dollars from him and brought out a patient file. The following chat proceeded:

Doctor: “Mr. Benjamin, I have 2 nice sicknesses you can manage for now”

Benjamin: “En.. So Doctor, please go ahead and call them for me.”

Doctor: “Now the sky is your limit, you are to make choice between the two nice sicknesses.”

Benjamin: “I trust you Doctor. I know nothing is impossible for you to do. I am waiting…”

Doctor: “Ehem… Yellow Fever and Leprosy are fantastic so make a choice”

Benjamin: “Shit! What a hell are you talking about? I got to manage the one I have! I am giving up my habitual sin right now!”

Mark would never do his home work given by his teachers because he is restive and obstinate. And so one day an assignment was given to the class pupils by teacher ‘Maria’. The assignment was to draw a goat eating grasses. Mark played and never did his home work. And now the time to submit the assignment came. Other pupils submitted theirs’ except boy Mark. “Where is your assignment?” asked Maria. Mark presented a blank drawing book to Maria. “Mark what do you mean?” the teacher asked. “Aunty, I did the assignment” replied Mark. “And so where is it?” Maria asked for the second time. “I did it Aunty, I am very sure Ma” he replied. Mark was forced to kneel down. In other to ascertain the truth from him, the teacher frightened him with her big and horror cane. And so the boy said; “Aunty, I drew a goat eating grass but as I watched it, the goat ate up all the green grasses and ran away. And so the drawing paper was empty again”. Maria was short of words and could not envisage a small boy saying such an incredible thing.