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Massie Jokes From the Clique
Published by holagurrl25 in Jokes
December 28, 2009
Whether you hate her or love her, Massie has an attitude fit for an Alpha! Here’s a list of her jokes, as well as others from other characters. Please comment and click "I Like It!" if you like it!
The jokes are categorized by book, then by page, then an explanation of the joke. I will try to update frequently. If I missed one, please comment what book it is, the page number, and then the actual joke, if you can. If you’d like to make up your own joke, please comment, and I’ll put up the ones I think are best! So come awn, what are you waiting for?
The Clique
- Did I ask you to take my temperature?
- Then why are you all up in my butt? (50)
Why are you annoying me, why are you badgering me, etc.
- Did I invite you to my barbecue?
- Then why are you all up in my grill? (54)
Why are you annoying me, why are you badgering me, etc.
- Are you a female dog?
- Because you’re acting like a real b—-! (Claire, 56)
Pretty obvious, it’s a way to call someone a b—-.
Best Friends For Never
- Did I order coffee?
- Then why are you all up in my mug? (54)
Why are you annoying me, why are you badgering me, etc.
- Do you work at a grocery store?
- Then why are you checking me out? (142)
Used if someone is looking at you, and you want to call them on it.
- Do I look like I’m from Moscow?
- Then why do you think I’d be into Russian (rushing)? (150)
Um, I don’t feel like going that fast, why do you wanna get this done so fast?
- Do I look like a total female dog?
- Then why are you calling me a total b—-? (183) *
Pretty obvious, it’s a way to call someone a b—-. Except this one has “total.” Ooh.
Revenge of the Wannabes
- Is this Freaky Friday?
- Then why are you trying to steal my identity? (24) **
If someones trying to copy you and you don’t like it. (duh)
Liked it
81 Comments
VERRRRRRRRY CUTE! That was AH=MAZING! LUV MASSIE AND HER BURNS!
That is really not nice! Those jokes or horrible quotes are just terrible things to say to people! Why can’t the world be peaceful and filled with happieness and love and kindess??!!! Everyone in our nation should be able to get along nicely! Lets start a new reunion people to vote to be kind to others!except chris abeley is a sexy beast and massie: HES MINE!!! LOSER!! ohhh…and make sure it gets to chris! remember: BE NICE TO OTHERS you freaks!
agnice of you dont like it then STOP READING THEM YOU FREAK! these books are ah-mazing.
wow ah-mazing list i luv the clique series! and the movie was greatt be quiet agnice its just a book lol just dont read themmm
Her Burns are so totally awesome some of them I’ve used. Every one was like huh. Massie is my role model. But 2 answer ur ? Yes I do have a life. The books and Movie were all sooo AWESOME. I hope Lisi keep making them.
dito to all comments cept the Agnice chick…. these are just books!!! well… and a movie but other than that these are just ment to be funny, jeeze! but ya i love them too, read them all in week, saw the movie for the first time yesturday and everything from the books andd the movie fit together perfectly. cant wait tll they make the next one. :p
Hey everyone!
I’m a clique fan too, but I’m wondering why you like Massie so much (apart form the fact that she’s pretty, rich, popular and mean). And do/don’t you like Claire and why?
Plus: did you like more the clique movie or the book? and why?
I’m really interested to hear your opinion
, fellow cliquers! 
xoxo
Alica
i’m gonna give you the ones from p.s. i loathe you later
You didn’t have the ones in P.S I loathe you… but you did a really good job. I have been looking for them everywhere and you have the complete collection.
I like Massie becuz shes cool and her jokes r good… haha
my fav character in The Clique is dylan becuz i like to eat (i am not faT)…. hehe i dont eat alot but only at parties… XD
I heart these books!!!
But why does it say they are all 12?!?
I mean they act way more mature than that.
Uh.. I think you got all most all of them but one. In the 2nd book, Best Friends for Never, Massie said to Claire, “Do we look like a pair of boobs?” “Well, then STOP TRYIN TO HANG BESIDE ME!” And in the book “Bratfets at Tiffany’s” when she says, “Are you an actor? Cause I heard your gonna be in a trailer.” She was saying that the person was poor.
I love these books! They are the best books I have ever read!
THIS WAS TOTALY ACURATE AND I LUVED IT YOU DID A REALLY GOOD JOB ON THIS. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
Have any of you even heard of good fiction?
These books are for conformists and stereotypical brats.
I could barely get through the first one.
And exactly why are these called jokes? They are insults, and not very good ones. Really.
The book focuses on girls who wish they were ‘in’. Now please, try to be mature and read some good works of art. Lisi Harrison is a good author, but her materiel isn’t exactly a good influence on young girls. I’m going to say the majority of girls who read this are ages 11-13. And the characters do NOT act mature for there age. They are twelve, and act twelve. Maybe even younger. The definition of mature is respectful, kind, and adult-like. These girls are none of those. Please, try a good, educational fiction.
Hey i luv the clique. But i dont like 2 steal material. so here r some of My jokes:
are you a window?
because i can c right through u
are you a washing machine?
then why are you acting all washed up?
are you an astronont?
then why are you in my space?!
Thats all 4 now. and remember you can use these but theycame from ME.
Luv times 10-M
WoooWWZZerZZ!!! ii ToTaLLy HeArT TheSe BooKS !!!! 9i started the trend at mii school soo Lisi you can thank me for that ;P) Anyway i cant wait until the next book “Boys R’ US” comes out!! GaWd!!! I LOve TheM!!!
EHMAGAWD! i heart the clique books! i loveee Massie and Alicia and Dylan and Claire and Kristen too! But i HATE Layne! but i still heart the books! I hope Lisi Harrison NEVER stops writing the Clique books cuz they are so good!!!
Thanks, everyone! I’m hoping to update the jokes soon, and Jen, I’ll look for the boobs one, but the trailor one was already included. :]] Madeline, I love yours!
I updated last night, didn’t look for boobs one, but if someone can give me a page, that would help! If not, I’ll look for it myself after I finish my paper. Urg.
omg this is somthing that you can lol on right! i luv the clique
i luv the clique moive
for some reason i also luved alica she looks so sweet but has a mean side like me i’m goody goddy but when i don’t get my way i get mad like every other kid
massikur, haha thanks! Yeah, the Clique is pretty ah-mazing.
cutie-pie 1000, Alicia is a pretty complex character! I know what you mean.
OKay i dont think i saw this one on the list….
Are you a bird??
then why are you so cheap….. cheap cheap cheap cheap( like a bird chipss)
heres one i made, Am i a pimple? then why are you trying to cover me up? (say this to you parents! lol)
Haha Hannah, those are good!!
hi guys(girls)
a last shout out 2 all my friend!!!i heart u!!! (srry alicia 4 stealin ur line)
i no u love dose jokes cuz i maded dem up. of course deir ah-mazing since i created them.watch me in da movie!!!! i’ll b da 1 w/ black hair & da 1 @ da top of da game.
well if that’s massie block, then im alicia rivera. and no its no ok fo you to steal my line. your lucky bocd is just ocd or else my soum8s boygirl clique woiuld be all over you ACTRESSES.
I didn’t see this one on the list “Do I sit in the middle of the mall for eight hours a day in a big blue desk?”
“well then why do you think I have then Information”… I think it’s in the book The pretty committe strikes back
“Have any of you even heard of good fiction?
These books are for conformists and stereotypical brats.
I could barely get through the first one.
And exactly why are these called jokes? They are insults, and not very good ones. Really.
The book focuses on girls who wish they were ‘in’. Now please, try to be mature and read some good works of art. Lisi Harrison is a good author, but her materiel isn’t exactly a good influence on young girls. I’m going to say the majority of girls who read this are ages 11-13. And the characters do NOT act mature for there age. They are twelve, and act twelve. Maybe even younger. The definition of mature is respectful, kind, and adult-like. These girls are none of those. Please, try a good, educational fiction.”
Ehmagawd, if you opposite of like them so much
why read them?
Bitch much?
and heres one of my jokes:)
Are you a pad?
Then why are you sticking to me?
i heart you!
Massie (haha, yeah. believe it or nawt thats my real name)
okay heres a horribly funny massie joke i just thought of!
are you an ipod?
then why r u playing me?
Thanks for putting all these up here! Massie’s got some great jokes/insults.
I totally heart the books, sure, they’re superficial, but they’re funny and fashionable. I love all of the characters, especially Massie and Layne.
As for all the people who came here posting bad stuff about these books,
Why? Why on earth would you waste your time coming here and posting all that negative stuff about it? The main reason I’m posting here is because I’m home sick and my mom’s out buying groceries and the next Clique girls book for me.
So, yeah, thanks again for the list!
I made a couple jokes my self…. for example
Are you a hellicopter?
Then why are you hovering?
(if someone wont leave you alone.)
Are you my shouffer?
Than why are you driving me crazy?
(self explanitory)
Do you own a tazar?
That why are you so shocked?
(if you tell someone something and they are shocked at what you said)
Thanks fellow Cliques.
WOW!!! i love the clique series!!!!! Massie’s comments Always seemed so clever!!!!!! keep them going y’all!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
LISTEN UP PLZ!
DONT COME IN HERE AND JUDGE THOSE OF US WHO READ THESE. JUST CUZ WE READ THEM DOESNT MEAN WE ACT LIKE THE GIRLS IN THESE BOOKS. AND IT ALSO DOESNT MEAN THAT WE DONT READ ANY LARGER BOOKS OF FICTION OR GO AROUND INSULTING PEOPLE..
i lovee these books, they are so much fun to read and everytime i read one of those insults i LOL whether they are good or not bcuz they r just soo funny
Am I a radio? No. So then why are your trying to turn me on? (MY JOKE!!)
Are you a car? No. So then why do you smell like gas?
I have two!!
Are you shopping at Pier One (Or any merchandise store)
-Then why are you touching the merchandise
(Someone is touching you or your stuff)
Are you a bouncy, jumpy desert?
-Then why are you jellin? (Jealous)
Hahahah these jokes are so funny but seriously dont looook up to these people. It doesnt work. Its ok to use these jokes on ur friends but dont try using them on ur enemies. u just look stupid and immature. Try coming up with your own and be creative!
i luv the clique books! My friend and I r readin thm like crazy! I think these jokes r really funny!
..the massie comebacks are so funny
..i lhove reading them
ok this is one i made up tell me if u like it
are you macoroni?
then why are you acting so cheesy?
(like if some is acting cheesy LOL!)
~luv ya
kayla
p.s. i luvvv the clique books! my fav charactor is Kristen i m most like her
hey the clique books are awesome here\\\’s another jk like massie\\\’s that i made up.
Am I a scary movie?
Then why do you think I\\\’m doctor Hyde?
It means why are you avoiding me like mayvbe they think your scary? hmm maybe you dressed wierd that day mhmm
ok i have another joke but its not that good
are you a kiddie pool ?
then why r u actin so shallow?
luv
`kayla
These r a-door-a-ball (Kristen) Im not 100% sure this was in the book but in the movie[the clique] Massie said” This is between taco and burrito. Na-cho!!!” i heart these books i use these comebacks all the time. I luv them all x3.
“I HEART U” <3 <3 <3 X4
——- Carmen
Hi! well my friends and i made a group of the clique and i am Massie and i am totally going to use this Monday!!!
Hey girls!!! Yea it’s me Elizabeth McLaughlin and I just wanted to say Hey and thanks to whoever made the list. I give all the credit of all these witty jokes to Lisi Harrison, who is my best friend and to all the cast and characters from the movie.Well I got to go know see you later and here’s one for the road:
Did I invite you to my BBQ?
Love ya much!!
Well then why are you all up in my grill?
ewmagawd did any 1 read invasion of the boysnatchers i want 2 sooooooooo bad!!
here’s one i came up with:
do i look like a apple mac?
uh no…
then why are you coping me?
plz. send a comment if u like!
HEY GIRLS WATS UP? I MADE A MASSIE JOKE UP HERE IT IS:
Am I a TV?
no….
Then why are you watching me?
plz comment if u like
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
hey these books suck and so does the and anyone hoo like it go fell in a ditch and get a life!!! i mean seriously they r brats and massie is so mean so dont read the dumb jokes or the stupid books
hey guys i just started reading these but my bff reads and i really like them i made one up but its not 2 good
here it is:
are you a copier? (the machine printer thingy)
then why are you doing what i am doing?
<3 luv u lots
le le (leah)
p.s. shitedog (wat kind of name is that) if u dont like the clique books 1 dont read them! 2 dont go to this site!
p.p.s. tell me if u like my joke
crude 10x
ehmagawd! i heart Clique!!!! Derrington sux tho!!!!! Kristens my FAAAVVV!!!! To all those pppl who said they hate it- its just a joke! DUH!!!
EHMAGAWDDD!! I am a totall Massie!! And i heart the clique!!!
its the bessttt! I didnt finish the series yet.. whoever saw the movie.. is it good? or did they change too muchh?
P.S shitedog (AGAIN wat kind of name is tht?!) shut up and do to sum LBR site where u belong ok? OKAY! good.
Pretty in Purple – The movie’s pretty good! Nothing deep, of course, but a good chick flick. They keep a lot of things the same, but some things [reasonably so] are different.
iv got one that i made myself,i dunno if its good though.
R u a insect?then why r u bugging me????
Ehmagawd!! I heart alll of those jokes! Too cute!!<3
OMG! Those are all good jokes! : ) I absolutely HEART the Clique! Alicia is my fave! I luvv her! Oh and tell me if u like my joke:
R u trying to say the alphabet??
No…
Then why would I be with U??!
- anna
Ehmagod, totally the best kind of jokes come from Massie Block. I gotta use ‘em sometime
These are great.
I can use these on my nieghbor
Hey its Hannah again! I posted a while before! I have made up some more!
Are you a hippy?
- Then why are you trying to make peace?
(someone mean is trying to be nice to you and be friends with you)
Okay, some of the ones in the book are innapropriate. This one is too. Sorry, lol…
Are you a dog?
- Then why are you holding a bone?
(a guy has a boner or has the hawts for u lol)
I heart the Clique!! They should totally have another movie. Like a sequal! Love ya!!
i thot of 1 that i already used on an some1
r u left handed?
no
stop lying because surely not right
we were in a fight & i was refering 2 right and wrong
I totally heart those and the books are great.I bought like every single one:)
OMG!!!!!!!!!i luv the clique!!!!!!!!!I LUV ALICIA!!!!!!!!she’s SO pretty in the movie!!!!!!!!o&shitedog(weird name btw!)ur a hobo!&y dnt u just go die in a hole urslf!!!thts soooo stupid 2 come on here just 2 diss the bks!!!!really?ur cool!!!nt!!!!so get hit w/ a BUS!!!!!!!luv the clique!!!!&thnks 4 making this whoevr did!!!!!:)
p.s.my name really is Alicia!:)
i heart u!!!!!
heart,
Leesh
o & heres 1 of my jokes!
hav u been sitting out in the sun all day???
um…no
thn y r u soo hawt?!?!
tell me if like!:)
heart,
Leesh!:)
i think u forgot one
R u a zit?
Then y u all covered up?
im not sure if u forgot that one but ehmygod this is great i am always looking for massie insults and this is perfect
Hey! Well I made up a Massie Joke! Here it is:
Are you a radio?
No!
Then why should I listen to you?
Are you a Louis Vouitton knockoff ?
Then why are you acting like a sham’
lOL I made it up myself.
I ah-bviously heart the clique! I love Alicia’s style but I love dylan&Kristen.
Massie Jokes are the best but nobody gets them when I use thme on other people:( lol.
anyway bye and all these people who wrote down jokes on here-they are hil-ah-rioussss!
I heart you,
Leesh
Hi im Massie !! lol not from the book… i heart these books and i think Massie blocks comebacks are ah-mazing !!
poop
I LOVE THE CLIQQUE BOOKS!!! I MADE UP ONE, HERE IT IS:
R U A REPORTER
NO
THEN STOP FOLLOWING ME!!
COMMENT IF U LOVE!!!
P.S. I LOVEEE ALICIA AND CLAIRE!!!!
WOW… Impressive, it must have been a long and hard work…
I found a great website, you should check it out:
http://theprettycommitteeofficialblah-g.wetpaint.com/
It’s a friend of mine, please leave comments and become a member
I love the clique! I love Massie and her burns, haha serves those people right!! She wouldn’t burn you if you didn’t do something stupid in the first place!! Nice job on finding all these by the way, glad you put them down, I can never find them!
I Heart The PC (:
Uhhm There\’s One But Im Nawt Sure How It Goees..
- Am I (Insert Movie Director\’s Name)
-Then Why Are Yu Telling Me How To Act.?
Hahahaha((:
- In Our Clique Im Claire, Ps I Love Yu Cam,! Lol<3
Heres Another One,!
- Are Yu A Toilet.?
( No)
-Then Why Are Yu So Full Of Shit/ Crap. Hehe
Thank Gaawd For The PC!
ByeByee.! – Claire Was Here!
Ps, I Tell People My Name Is Actually Claire Hahah(:
Well It’s Nawt Really A Joke Massie Tells Kristen To Do Something And Kristen Asks How,
Massie Says ” Nike”
Kristen – Huuh.?
Massie- Just Do It.!
Heres An Actual Joke~ Im Nawt Sure If They Have It Though,
Are Yu Dial Up Internet.?
(No)
Then Why Are Yu Bieng So Slow.? (: Haha
Its From Boys R Us Like The Last Pages.
Byeee.!ILoveCaam<33! Haha
U guys forgot a comeback u guys r ah-bviously not real fans…
R u steven speilberg?…… then dont tell me how to act
u guys 4got a comeback u guys r ahb-viously not fans…
R u steven speilberg?…… then stop telling me how to act.
I HEART THESE. SO USEFUL 4 COMEBAKS ESPECIALLY NEED THEM @ AM ALL GIRLS SCHOOL IF IM GOIN 2 KEEP UP MY ALPHA STATUS.