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10 Sure Fire Ways to Really Annoy Your Loving Wife
All happily married men will be able to relate to these tools of irritation.
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Eating Loudly
Apples, raw carrots, chips, and other crunchy goodies should probably be steered clear of if you are within 20 meters of your wife. She’ll put up with it for a while and then you’ll start receiving hints to stop eating including loud and deliberate huffing, subtly covering her ears with her hands, and finally her leaving the room only to be found reading her book in the bedroom with the door shut. Oh, steering clear of toast is also recommended.
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Foot Rubbing
Now some people won’t have a clue what I’m talking about when I say foot rubbing and no, it’s not making your wife rub your feet. Oh no, it’s much, much worse. It’s that time when you get home from a hard days work; you kick the lazy boy recliner back and slip your shoes off only using your feet. Then you simply sip that beer while rubbing your feet together in a circular motion. Oh man it feels great and you can do it for hours on end. The only problem with it is……your wife is going insane watching you do it from across the room. Again it just starts with some subtle huffing puffing but you know you’re in the dog box when the angry stares start. I don’t think I need to elaborate here.
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Playing Golf With Your Mates and Coming Home After a Few Shots At The 19th
Just the fact that you’re off to golf really irritates the hell out of your wife because it takes hours and she doesn’t see the enjoyment in hitting around a little white ball with your mates. But what makes going to golf worse for your wife is the fact that it doesn’t just end after the card has been totalled, it ends after a half a dozen pints at the club afterwards. Then you come home expecting her to be happy to see you after your tough day slogging it out on the course. Not so.
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Singing Badly and Thinking Your Awesome
Unless you’re Pavarotti or part of a boy band, you’re probably an exceptionally bad singer but think you’re “da bomb!” especially in the morning during your shower, or in the middle of her favourite television show, or when she’s grumpy. Why is it you always feel the need to sing aloud when she’s grumpy? Beats me but it sure gets her going. Pretty soon you’ve been drowned out by her yelling at you to “shut the hell up!”
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Playing Playstation
Yes the ultimate sin especially if she is wanting to watch television and you’ve got the volume of Grand Theft Auto cranked in the other room or worse still if you’re playing it on the only television in the house. Plus she will be trying to tell you about her day and all she gets in reply is grunts and the words, oh yeh, cool, great…
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Passing Toxic Gases Out Loud (or Silently) and Thinking It’s Hilarious
Need I say more? It is funny though!
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Doing Absolutely No Chores Around The House
This is highly irritating for the love of your life because while you sit around drinking a beer and watching the box, she’s cleaning your clothes, vacuuming the floor and cooking your meals. There are no subtle hints here, just a solid clip round the back of the head.
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Making Derogatory Jokes About Where She Hails From and Her Religion
Yes definitely not recommended because saying that her home town is full of plonkers and weirdos will definitely get you offside. As far as debunking her religion goes, lets just say if you try it you may just find yourself on the fast track to heaven.
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Making Smart Comments All The Way Through Grey’s Anatomy and Other Cheesy Wife Shows
I can see how this can be so annoying for your little honey bunch because you do make her watch sports at every opportunity and she has learned to just watch without speaking too often. So when you start saying how bad the acting is in this and how much you hate this person in the show and checking the score in the ads, she gets highly pissed off.
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Spending All Your Time Writing Articles On The Net
The ultimate wife annoyance tool. She loves that you are doing something that makes you happy, but when it turns into hours and hours of tap, tap, tapping at the keyboard and blocking out everything else in the room, including her, then she gets annoyed.
Dedicated to my beautiful and loving wife who puts up with a lot of crap but just keeps on loving me and that’s all that matters. If women didn’t have these little quirks, we wouldn’t love them.
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23 Comments
Lol! I’ve not laughed so hard in a long time. I needed that. And you pretty much got all the things that annoy the heck out of me with the hubby. With the exception of playing the Playstation. I love Halo, and I love to kick the snot out of the hubby everytime, lol! Ah good one RJ. Take care.
Funny - but did you show your wife this before you posted it? :-))
You really want me to comment on this???????!!!!!!!! I don’t have the time, I am busy picking up after DH ;))))) God, what is that smell??? Nice one RJ
I am the one with the PC internet, writing and gaming addiction. Drive my hubby bonkers!
Little quriks nothing!!!!!She should kick your butt. I’m afraid some (not all) of your complaints are reversed with us though. I am the one pecking on the keyboard. Take care, Ruby
I’ve tried the mocking of Greys Anatomy when it’s been on, it wasn’t received well.
Lucky my girlfriend doesn’t watch that show any longer.
Dwayne.
http://probablysucks.com/
Hey everyone, thanks for your comments. Yeh I made sure my wife read it before I published it so as not to get myself in some deep trouble by springing it on her. She said its all true so shes got no probs. Great wife. Have a good one!
What about picking at her about her weight? Point out which of her friends have maintained their figures over the years.
Don’t just pass gas…walk past her as you pass gas.
Block Lifetime and Oxygen. If she unblocks them, reblock them.
Complain about her mother, but remember to compare her to her mother (”Didn’t your mother start getting wrinkly at your age?”)
Leave the toilet seat down…while urinating.
The dancing thing always gets me. My fiance thinks he has rhythem but, I assure you he doesn’t
I feel sorry for your husband. His wife nags him via blog post about all the things he enjoys. This is sad….oh never mind…I just realized that this was written by the husband.
There is here a noise, quiet, fragrant situations of couples who irritate the woman.
RJ,
Of course with this title I had to check this out! To funny and I do relate. I hope that wasn’t your feet in that picture! Ha! My wife likes The Next Top Model and doesn’t like my smart comments.
hahahhaha,so funny,thanks RJ for the fun read
Some good points here. Number 8 and 5 are the ones I would hate most. Good thing my husband never does them.
That was good.. number 1 (noisy eating) absolutely drives me NUTS
Great read, very fun. Thanks for sharing!
Hahaha! Funny in a true-hilarious way…ur wife must exceptional for loving you that much!
I applauded her affection towards u and ur craps!
Funny read.
Very Nice RJ.
I can identify with a few of these such as eating loudly. I have been known to slip off into the other room to find a book or turn the TV up just a little louder than usual. My husband spends the day with his feet inside of work boots and I think I would prefer foot rubbing to foot smelling…not good! The other is Toxic gas. He prides himself on his ability to wilt indoor plants and send the dog running for cover. Where I can get one of those masks?
Great article and fun to read.
Great article and pictorial. Those are the very things that annoy my wife also, especially playing a lot of golf.
Fun and great article! These would definitely annoy the heck out of me…
Very true!
How about annoying the bejesus out of your wife by being a pussy?
Never bend, never try to change, women ask and expect this from us not to better their environment, woman naturally want to weed out wimpy men.
Meaning, she tries to emotionally overpower you or make you bend to her way, she is just testing you for weaknesses. It’s a part of life and has been going on long before there were humans. If she finds a fault, and can change you, it’s time to get another mate, one who is stronger who she cannot manipulate or bend.
A womans job is to try to break her man to see if he is worthy of creating another version of himself in offspring, without them and their ways, life would be a terrible failure and mess