Joseph and the Baby Jesus

Soon after Jesus was born, there were visitors to the manger to welcome Christ the King into the world.

Joseph: Well, Baby Jesus has been born and I’m a bit tired. It’s a bit cold in this stable, so I think I’ll place a blanket around my son.

Stable Boy: Excuse me, Joseph.

Joseph: Yes? What is it?

Stable Boy: Well, there are three wise men here to see Baby Jesus.

Joseph: Well, I just put him to sleep. Can they come back later?

Stable Boy: They’ve travelled far to come here. They brought gifts.

Joseph: Oh gifts! Show them in.

First Wise Man: Greetings. We have followed a star in wonderment and heard tale of a savior born in the city of Bethlehem.

Joseph: Well thank you for coming.

First Wise Man: We come to honor the new born King with gifts. I bring you the gift of gold.

Joseph: Gold. You can never go wrong with giving money. Of course, you also took the easy way out, didn’t you?

First Wise Man: Gold to honor the new born King.

Joseph: Yes, well I could have used it a few days ago. I could have paid for a nice room at the Inn instead of having to stay here in this barn. No matter. Money is good anytime, right?

First Wise Man: You are wise, young Joseph. Let this Gold be used to care for your child.

Joseph: Yes. Thank you.

Second Wise Man: I come to honor the new born King with the gift of frankincense.

Joseph: Ooh! Frankincense. Yes, that will do nicely. It will help with the smell of this place. Of course, I think a nice bottle of Febreze would have done better, but this is nice. This is very nice.

Second Wise Man: Burn it to honor your new born son.

Joseph: Yes. It will liven things up here, I’m sure.

Third Wise Man: To honor the new born King, I bring you the gift of myrrh.

Joseph: The gift of what?

Third Wise Man: Myrrh.

Joseph: Myrrh? What the heck is myrrh?

Third Wise Man: Myrrh. You know. Myrrh?

Joseph: No. What is it?

Third Wise Man: It’s myrrh. Look. Myrrh.

Joseph: Ok, I see. Well, put it over there with the rest of them. Myrrh. Yeah, that’s good.

Second Wise Man: It’s incense. Like my frankincense.

Joseph: Oh. Still not Febreze, hu? But I guess it will work. Well, that’s all nice. Thank you all.

First Wise Man: We should go now.

Joseph: Yes. Wise men, eh? Could have brought more practical gifts, you think? How about a blanket or a rattle for the poor little kid?

Stable Boy: Excuse me, Joseph.

Joseph: Now what? Can’t you see the baby is sleeping?

Stable Boy: You have another visitor.

Joseph: Who is it this time? Another Einstein bringing me a Yankee Candle? I don’t even have anything to light this myrrh with.

Stable Boy: It’s a little boy. He says he has no gift, but would like to play a lullaby for the infant Jesus on his drum.

Joseph: Oh. A nice lullaby. Show him in. Show him in.

Little Drummer Boy: Shall I play for him?

Joseph: Sure, kid. Play a nice lullaby.

Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum! Rum Pum Pum Pum!

Baby Jesus: Whaaaa!

Joseph: Holy Mary! You woke up the baby! Stop the drumming! Stop the drumming!

Little Drummer Boy: I played by drum for him.

Joseph: Yeah. The whole barn heard it.

Little Drummer Boy: I played my best for him.

Jospeh: Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum. Yes, I know. It woke the poor kid up. Who’s bright idea was it to play the drums to a sleeping baby? Can’t you play violin or something?

Little Drummer Boy: I only have my drum.

Joseph: Well, that’s nice. That’s real nice. Thank you. Now on your way with you. Geez, I hope burning some of this frankincense can put him back to sleep.

Stable Boy: You don’t have anything to light it with, Sir.

Joseph: Well how about turning that light out? That should help.

Stable Boy: That’s not a light. That’s the star.

Joseph: The star?

Stable Boy: Yes. Everyone followed the star to find the baby Jesus.

Joseph: Oh great. There will be more?

Stable Boy: Perhaps.

Joseph: Mary! Pack our things. We’re leaving!