A fellow was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs due to

very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck

he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper

for a guaranteed weight loss program.

“Guaranteed. Yeah right!” he thought to himself. But

desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there’s a knock at his door, and when he answers,

there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe

dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her

neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”

Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles

later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way

with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself,

“I like the way this company does business!”

The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing

happens.

On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find

he has lost 10 lb. as promised. He calls the company and orders their

5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the

most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life,

wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck

that reads, “If you catch me, you can have me.”

He’s out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in

excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when

he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.

For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to

his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself and found he has lost

another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the

company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

“Are you sure?! “, asks the representative on the phone.”This

is our most rigorous program.” “Absolutely,” he replies, “I haven’t

felt this good in years.”

The next day there’s a knock at the door and when he opens it

he finds a very large man standing there wearing nothing but pink

running shoes, a big leer on his face and a sign around his neck

that reads, “If I catch you, you’re mine.”