Biscuit Organisation of Law, Legislation, Occupation, Checks, and Known Sideeffects

Scientific consensus rocked by International Biscuit organisation!!!

In recent news you will no doubt have read that the safety of biscuits has been brought into question.  In fact we have been told that custard creams were the most dangerous standard biscuit.   Our organisation has reacted to this news, in a positive, proactive manner.  This is in line with our company slogan:  “Balanced, informative, Scrutinising, Current, United, independent, tenacious. “.  We promise that, when it comes to the crunch, we’ll be there. 

However, our in house scientific team has been scrutinising the claims that custard creams specifically, and biscuits in general can be dangerous.  At first, we accepted that there was a possible link between biscuit types, and injuries.  It seemed like a legitimate scientific discovery.  We prepared a counter-balance argument, suggesting that stress coursed injurers, biscuits reduced stress, therefore the injury balance was positive, and biscuits actually decreased accidence.

The truth, dear readers, was staring us in the face.  We can only apologise for missing it for so long.  If I would wish to mitigate our failure somewhat, I should mention that our head scientific advisor (Professor James. K. Allan) is a custard cream fanatic, who took the blow hard, and took a weeks compassionate leave.  Thus, it has taken us a week to see the news that was before us, like a huge, bulky, chocolate covered Hobnob!!

The report not only dammed custard creams, but also Jaffa Cakes.  That’s right ladies and gentlemen, Jaffa CAKES!!!!!  This changes everything.  Clearly this is not a scientific report, but a thinly veiled attack on biscuits.!!! 

Conspiracy you cry!!  First the government wants to ban dragging, then drinking, then dunking!!!  We didn’t want to believe you, surely the government would not  strike against the oatey centre of our lives?   To prove our hypothesis we wrote to the ministry and defence and President Obama, asking them to comment.  WE RECIVED NO REPLY.  We must accept now, as proven scientific fact, that the government is standing against us.  We must unite, like a tightly packed digestive!!  Remember, like biscuits, we are either united, or a filthy mush at the bottom of a tea cup, waiting to be thrown down the sink.

 The Biscuit Organisation of Law, Legislation, Occupation, Checks, and Known Sideeffects: Looking after the interests of biscuit lovers everywhere since 1945