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20 Ways to Annoy Your Wife

Published by chubfish in Pranks
December 14th, 2008

Just A Little Bit Of Harmless Fun.

  1. Always leave the toilet seat up
  2. Whenever you have control of the remote flick through the channels every five seconds, appear to be intent on watching one for awhile, especially one she may like, before starting off again
  3. Never miss an opportunity to break wind in public, and round it off with an embarassing comment
  4. Leave your dirty socks strewn across the floor
  5. Shake your head disapprovingly after inspecting  the layer of dust on the mantlepiece
  6. Whenever she bends over blow a raspberry
  7. Make sure your shoes are left in the middle of the floor where someone is bound to trip over them and hurt themselves
  8. When she complains ‘you never listen to me’ be certain to reply ‘a quarter past two’
  9. Everytime you go to the toilet have a running commentary to match
  10. Always always always have a bog book
  11. Snigger noisily everytime she announces she needs the toilet prior to exclaiming ‘Again?!’
  12. Cock your head to one side and stare at her in a bemused fashion and when she asks worriedly ‘what’ reply’oh, nothing
  13. Scoff down your food like theres no tomorrow, and then your wifes, then the kids . . . (you cannibal)
  14. Memorise all her ticklish spots and catch her unawares
  15. Be unashamed … those little embarrassing family secrets need sharing with somebody dont they
  16. Upon slamming the front door behind you, pretend  you have forgotten something and ask for the key . . . watch for a enjoyable while as she works herself up into a frenzy before remembering ‘here they are’ and magically finging it in your pocket
  17. Have a sudden desire to watch rugby whenever eastenders is on
  18. Mistake her mascara for a toilet brush
  19. Pick your nose
  20. Blow up the kitchen sink

PS The author of this article cannot be held responsible for any loss of limb or life caused if the reader chooses to follow the above advice and solemnly warns to avoid such larks when the woman in question is showing symptoms of PMT, MT, or PMS or is just a grumpy old cow armed with a rolling pin   

Liked it
  1. Nat
    Posted December 15, 2008 at 3:50 am

    Too true! Loved this piece thx 4 sharing!

  2. Freya
    Posted December 15, 2008 at 3:51 am

    Brill! for some reason my computer wont let me add ‘i liked it’

  3. Posted December 15, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    ha ha ha! very clever, if my fiance does any of this i’ll kill him. nice article

  4. sandra
    Posted January 1, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    now i know why the murder rate is so high, lol.

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