10 Reasons Not to Get Married
A list of reasons for you not to be married, ever.
- Your dad just ran away with your bride, and now you and your mom are going to share the collective wedding refunds…
- You don’t really care much about her leaving, but so many things to get refunds for…..heh….
- The flower arrangements were the best part of the wedding for the bride, and she looks like she might run away now.
- Your sister’s kids vandalized the flower arrangements after being locked in the storage tent by your bride.
- Brown nosing for your wedding presents practically becomes a way of life…
- Your mother-in-law will be moving in shortly…she went easy on you while you guys so that she could brag to her friends about her kid being married.
- Your bride’s dress is beautiful…but it cost $6987.78….and she won’t wear it to your (private) anniversary party….
- Your mother’s mysterious death is bound to be directly or indirectly related to her comments on mysterious noises being heard whilst getting beauty rest at the hotel…(her room shares a wall with yours….)
- Someone is guaranteed to get piss drunk at your reception, be it 10 PM or 10 AM….
- Your groom’s tux has a cummerbund, and you specifically ordered him a simple vest and jacket combo…