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10 Reasons Why Pretty Women Should Date Ugly Men
If you’re too sexy but still alone, look no further than an ugly man. Ten very good reasons why you should date an ugly man.
If you are one of the beautiful people but always find yourself alone, there may be a reason for it. You’ve been telling yourself for years that the reason you still aren’t in a relationship is because you are just too good looking. Your good looks are too much for someone to handle. I’m here to tell you that you are absolutely right. You are too good looking to date other good looking people: but you are primed to date ugly guys. Here are ten reasons why a gorgeous woman like you should date an ugly man:
He would never cheat on you
If you date an ugly man, he will be so happy that the thought of cheating on you would never occur to him. He would rather cut off his own arm with a rusty chainsaw then ever look at another woman again. He’s already bagged the perfect woman! Cheating is for people who are pretty. Your ugly man will never be unhappy; why should he? He’s got you, babe!
There are a lot of ugly men.
They’re everywhere. Ugly men outnumber gorgeous women at least a thousand to one. You will have your pick of the most eligible ugly guys. You can even have a bevy of un-handsome honeys at your beck and call; one unattractive guy for every day of the week. What could be better?
The ugliest man in the room is usually the richest man in the room.
Show me a good looking man and I’ll show you a dead broke man. Ugly men have money. They have been saving up their pennies for the day you come to your senses and recognize that they exist. On that glorious day, they will shower you with expensive gifts, trips, and negotiable bonds. Financial security is just one ugly man away.
Ugly men are sexual gods!
When you deal with an ugly man, he will do anything to please you, especially in the bedroom. He has been practicing alone for years and he is now more than ready to give you his all. He will have little to no experience but what he lacks in finesse he will make up with lots of enthusiasm. He wouldn’t want an enthusiastic, unselfish lover? Just make sure you keep the lights off.
He’ll do anything you say
If you are the type of woman that needs a man to listen and obey; then an ugly man is just what you need. Ugly men have been bossed around their entire life so they will welcome your sexy direction. Actually, if you don’t boss them around, they’ll be unhappy. You don’t want your ugly man unhappy, do you?
An ugly man would give his life for you
Your ugly man would never want to lose you. If you happen to be in danger, he will immediately jump in to save your life. He will be like your own personal bodyguard. And if by chance your ugly man meets an unfortunate end, there are many more ugly men where he came from. You should also make sure that your ugly man has the same blood type as you do; ugly men have no problem donating the odd kidney or section of liver to help their best girl out.
Ugly men are technical marvels
Having trouble with your broadband connection? Want to save money by filing your own taxes? Well, look no further than your local ugly man. Since he’s been unattractive for as long as he can remember, he’s spent years working his mind. Now, that mind can be available to you. He’ll hook up all your technical stuff for your home and make sure that you will always have the latest gadget. The one possible drawback is that if you want to get rid of him, he might be the only one who knows how to turn on your TV, so be forewarned.
If you want to dump him, he’ll understand
How many times have you tried to get rid of a guy but he just wouldn’t get the message? At least with an ugly guy, he’ll expect you to dump him so he’ll fade away quietly without any problem. No more messy breakups! He might go off and cry somewhere, but he’ll do it quietly in his mother’s basement far from you. As an added bonus, he will remember you always with a very nice shrine dedicated to your memory. It’s like having your own fan club!
He’ll have good-looking guy friend you can cheat on him with
Ugly guys always have at least one cute friend. Hooking up with your ugly man’s hot friend is great because if for some reason you get caught, your ugly man will forgive you and blame himself for not being the kind of man that you deserve. His dedication to you would increase ten-fold.
Even after you break his heart, he’ll still come running
When you eventually get tired of making your ugly man walk behind you so no one sees you together, when you get tired of making your ugly man wear a paper bag over his head during sex and get rid of him, no matter what, he’ll come back on your slightest whim. Ugly men have no concept of pride. You can curse out his beloved mother, spit in his face and/or max out his credit card-it doesn’t matter to your ugly man. Any sin can be forgiven in his loving yet ugly eyes. Remember; you’re gorgeous!
This list is satire and should be seen as a humorous take on the kind of woman who thinks the reason they haven’t found true love has to do with their outward appearance. No one is perfect; every one of us has faults. In a relationship, a person needs to be able to appreciate someone other than themselves. You can’t do that if you’re stuck in a mirror.
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Nice. Reads like it was written by a shallow, vapid bimbo.
I’m glad someone commented on my “article”. I WAS going for the vapid, bimbo type perspective to offset my general unadulterated genius so in that case I succeeded. Thanks for the comment!
Ugly men are sexual gods – Ugly men are useless, fumbling virgins with no clue.
This was a generally entertaining read. Good stuff.
thank you for your comment. be sure to read my next article on the benefits of dating a hideous woman; followed by an in depth review of dating the obese. My life is dedicating to true love.
This article doesn’t read well. How do you determin an ugly person?
Once you’re with that person, how do you come clean by telling them you’re only with them because their ugly? (and don’t say you wouldn’t tell them, honesty is part of love). Who is this article really aimed at? But most importantly, who’s going to regard themselves as ugly? My advice to anyone that is successful in life, but considers themselves as ugly – watch out for the money hungry!
It has nothing to do with looks, no one is perfect. And even those who are considered to be less attractive can be jerks too, there are no garauntees. In fact, assuming that someone is going to be a great person to you, simply because you do not find them very appealing is not only superficial, but incorrect. And actually an ugly guy is more apt to cheat, because he will suddenly have the attention of other pretty girls who wonder what he’s got that keeps you interested. This article benefits ugly guys, and makes women sound like goldiggers, that is one person’s perception as it pertains to them. Attractive women need to realize that other people’s intimidation is not their fault. Looks arent everything, so work on you as a person. Choose who you want to be with and not what others dicate, and you will find the beauty in anyone.
are you trying to crack some intellectual, feel-good sophistry? what on god’s green earth are you trying to say with
“Attractive women need to realize that other people’s intimidation is not their fault. Looks arent everything …”
the whole purpose of this article was to *give* attractive women a viable option, even if posed in a satirical manner. maybe this type of pairing was so psychologically offensive you had to write a bunch of superficial crap. lets juxtapose two statements, shall we missy?
“This article benefits ugly guys”
and this
“Choose who you want to be with and not what others dicate, and you will find the beauty in anyone.”
one thing i don’t find beautiful, is an idecisive woman who leads guys on, comments on account of very insecure needs, self alludes to underlying complexes, and ultimately makes a bloody fool of herself.
to: deimos
from: theauthor
yo mama.
thanks for the comment!
Sorry deimos, but no one here speaks fugly.
Please have the following words translated for yourself so that you will finally understand:
Your admission to your affliction of chronic and severe ugliness inside and out, is ACCEPTED! So there is no need to continue trying to convince anyone further, with your rant. Here’s hoping that you get the help that you need and deserve.
Good Luck to you!
Great article…but is “ugly man” always synonymous with “loser”? Maybe he’s an ugly stud! Who knows…
While I’ll admit the article is funny, I also have to admit its funny probably not in a way you intended.
The “Ugliest” people I’ve ever known were actually visually very pretty. Your article is pretty much confirmation that Pretty Women make horrible mates because they’re so very Ugly on the inside.
This was hilarious.
u realllllllllllly so stupid people,all the people are same nice or ugly,they will grave u all one day,sleep with any one ,ugly or nice,one day u have to leave him,and he will leave u
O.o i’m like most of those omg! its an ugly test..god damn it lol good work
muahaha…Just to let everyone know I am not a bimbo…but I have dated an ugly guy before…they really do come in handy when your computer breaks! and the best part is they will still fix it when you tell them that they are pathetic 25 year old virgins that still live with their moms and THAT is why your broke up with them!
This article was hilarious…I loved it really, really good work!
=]
the author..
amazing insight into male psychology…nd yes…the self created belief of being ugly..does lead to complete absence of pride in ur appearance, which can make smeone so human…
nd m floored by the conclusion…its just about appreciating smeone other than oneself!!.
to CoryReece:
ouch! this is satire or where you too blinded by the antics of your girlfriend to notice?
p.s. I’ll let Paris know you said Hi.
Hmnn– I read your second one first before this. Anyway, it doesn’t matter though. What good is it to date someone so ugly and someone so sharp? What matter most is the heart and your chemistry to be together.
What if you date an ugly and your heart isn’t there? what if you date a gorgeous guy but your not into it? Same thing, actually.
P.S.
It’s more adventurous if the guy is hot. Thrilling and exciting.
Anyway, nice read.
Very good article.
Yeah no offense, but that is extremely calculating and conceited. Just FYI. It’s funny though, but you got any advice for hot men who should date ugly girls? And p.s. ugliness is in the eye of the beholder.
PhantomPhanatic:
I wrote just such an article – http://www.purpleslinky.com/Jokes/Relationship/10-Very-Good-Reasons-to-Date-an-Ugly-Chick.124226
enjoy!!!
P.S. FYI — this article is a tongue in cheek expose, not a genuine treatise on what i think. people aren’t interested so much in bubblegum, feel good crap…SNARK RULES!!!
in response to “h”:
Sir, your grammar is ugly. This is not a TRUE article; it’s meant to be a tongue in cheek joke. If you look at rich men (Donald Trump, Bill Gates) and their wives, you might notice the irony of a dork marrying a really hot chick. My article was a play on that: meant to be just funny.
P.S. I’m not ugly, I’m HIDEOUS!!! But I have a trunkful of MOOLA so I date really HOT guys every NIGHT, sometimes I double date with myself!
so u would rather do it with a moola then an ugly man…. your veg might snap in your veg
also your sure seem to know a lot about ugly men, u must hav a lot of experience…..
P.S. i feel sorry for the Moola poor vegetables
I hope this doesn’t come across conceited but I’m a very pretty, in shape woman in my mid-thirties and I’m dating a short, overweight, balding man. I have to say, he’s absolutely incredible! Sex with him is the best of my entire life…truly mind-blowing. He treats me like gold and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. When I first met him, I thought he was just an average guy about my age and nothing special beyond nice, casual conversation. Later on that evening, we happened to lock eyes and we were suddenly the only two people in a room full of others. It was one of those “time stood still” moments. The first kiss was pure, smoking hot magic. An added bonus – I found out much later on that he’s ten years younger than me…so I have a “toyboy” to boot! IMHO, it all boils down to chemistry, not looks.
Ugly men are actually stronger than Chuck Norris!
Fugly men are also very very intelligent smarter than einstein!
They are Billionaires! Everybody doesnt despise their looks.
Even zombies are jealous of their looks!
(Sarcasm involved)
haha nice! really funny, I love it!!!
What the hell? I sincerely hope this was a joke. Granted, many guys use women, but not all. And you shouldn’t be saying that women should do the same. Telling people it’s OK to cheat because a guy has low self-esteem is just wrong. I hope you’re an ugly woman. I’m sure there’s a million good looking guys that’d NEVER look at you in the first place.
It still amazes me that people are so self-righteous (see previous comment). don’t they notice that this “article” is listed under satire? they are so busy condemning the author with personal attacks they don’t stop to read more or to analyze what I’m trying to say: this article is satire of all the b.s. advice we have been bombarded with over the years on how to get a “perfect” mate. i wish some people would try to take their thumbs out of their asses before they criticize brilliant writing. A pox on you Aaron Willis!
Omg! Some people need to relax. The “benefits” of dating an ugly man was very entertaining.
The lack of sense of humour around here is really shocking!
Humour is the most civilised way to say truths.
Congratulations to the author: ironic, satirical, amusing, apparently shallow but profound…
Enjoyable.
This is absolutely hilarious LOL
This part in particular:
“You can curse out his beloved mother, spit in his face and/or max out his credit card-it doesn’t matter to your ugly man. Any sin can be forgiven in his loving yet ugly eyes. Remember; you’re gorgeous!”
Very funny, kudos!
this was great. i was laughing the whole time
This was hilarious! I look forward to your review of dating the obese;)
hahah this is funny..but the truth is ugly men cling to you like some type of fungus. And will drive you insane if you try to leave then…ugly men are annoying and ya haha but very funny read
To the author.
I hope you feel good about yourself with a clear conscience.
My friend I tried to help overcome his low self esteem shot himself in the head after reading an article similiar to yours that made fun of unattractive people when dating.
Dear Christine,
I’m sorry about your friend. Your friend was suffering from mental illness and needed professional help. I feel you want to blame someone; maybe you should try looking in the mirror. The fact is, I didn’t know your friend; you did. If I knew a friend was suffering from depression, I wouldn’t look for scapegoats; I’d look for the help they need in order to get them well. Snarky articles didn’t make your friend kill themselves; a lifetime of asking for help and not getting it did. As a friend, you should have seen the signs and been woman enough to step up and do something. It’s you who’ll have to live with what you didn’t do for the rest of your life.
Funny, twisted and of course true as far as I can see. I know I will relate to the ugly girl and get my pride jerked a bit.
If some guy himself in the head over this bit of humor, I’m sure he had more issues than being considered ugly. That person writing failed to say if he was ugly or shot himself because he felt the abys of/for ugly men?
When I read this article, the ugly funny looking guy whom
never seems to give up on me popped right in my
head! Wow this article is so accurate!
“I should know this”
except the part about the breakup,
ugly guys tend to get uglier when you turn them down, they
start “stalking” you, and it’s not pretty at all!
Thanks author!
Have an extraordinary week!
you know.. it’s funny because it’s true! Omg I laughed so hard reading this article, I just can’t understand who could be so heartless as to come up with such an article, it’s fascinating!
OUCH
Everything thats written here is sooooooooo true im dating a extremely tall UgLy looking man but he does everything for me even when i show him no respect he’s so understanding but i hate when we go places together he likes to hold my hand and im SOooooooooooooooooo ashamed of him and he keeps hugging me in public damn i hate it but he pays for everything for me goes everytime i think of him i feel like vomiting knowing i have to see him again It really pays to be rich but THIS ARTICLE ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!
If u r an ugly man…try a little diferent tactic. Reverse your behavior and you will have beauty chasing the beast. Women´s self confidence is lover than apsolute zero. Olny thing better than a beautyfull women is beautifull women in tears…
)
Try it sometime
wow..u wrote such a nice article…keep it upso tat u can help beautiful girls like me
Well i don\\\’t completely agree……….well the sexiest thing that a Ugly guy can have is self confidence………beutiful woman are always done on it.And yes if u know the science of seduction u can always date incredible hot woman despite ur looks.It\\\’s all abt sneaking inti their psychologies.Try giving ross jeffries a chance (www.speedseduction.com)
Ugly, guys are usually “Pndejos” unsecured of themselves, that’s one of the reasons some women, manipulate them and make them spend a lot of money on them. Smart guy just pretend to be “Pendejos” but they are not. They just be sincere even if they don’t mean to be sincere.
You said that ugly men “will never cheat on you” and such? You’re so wrong about that one, hun. FYI, i’m an ugly guy, and we never say “no” to pretty women. So if an ugly man is dating a pretty women, and another pretty women comes along and wants to have sex with that man, he’ll say “yes” in a heart beat (i know i would). – Max
I think it’s amusing that people jumped down your throat for this article meanwhile you disclosed at the article’s end:
“This list is satire and should be seen as a humorous take on the kind of woman who thinks the reason they haven’t found true love has to do with their outward appearance. No one is perfect; every one of us has faults. In a relationship, a person needs to be able to appreciate someone other than themselves. You can’t do that if you’re stuck in a mirror.”
Thanks for this article. Funny things make people feel better and I loved your sense of humor.
That was hilareous, thanks!