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77 Ridiculous Pick-up Lines

Published by Ronnie Reede in Relationship
August 12th, 2008

Humorous pick-up lines that will crack you up!

  1. Can I borrow your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.
  2. Have I seen you before? Oh yeah! I saw you in the dictionary next to the word KABLAM!!!
  3. Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business
  4. Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
  5. Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
  6. Are your pants from outer space? ‘Cause your butt is out of this world,=.
  7. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  8. Hey, somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.
  9. That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
  10. Did you fart? ‘Cause you blew me away.
  11. Don’t you know me from somewhere?
  12. My love for you is like diarrhea – I can’t hold it in
  13. Do you have a library card?’Cause I”d like to check you out
  14. Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. (Oh Really. What is that?) It’s just that your number’s not in it.
  15. You’ve got all the curves, and I’ve got all the angles
  16. Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
  17. If you were a booger I would pick you first.
  18. You stole my heart. But that’s okay. I have another one at home in the fridge.
  19. Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
  20. Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You’ve got fine written all over you.
  21. Does my breath smell okay?
  22. Ever since I met you, you’ve lived in my heart without paying any rent.
  23. Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?
  24. My magic watch says that you don’t have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! It must be 15 minutes fast.
  25. Screw me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?
  26. If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
  27. Do you sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I?
  28. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
  29. People call me John, but you can call me tonight!
  30. Here’s $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
  31. You turn my software into hardware!
  32. (Fall in front of a girl) Wow, I’ve never fallen for a girl like you before.
  33. Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
  34. I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
  35. Are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause you’re the only ten I see!
  36. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
  37. I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels.
  38. You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
  39. Can I even get a fake number?
  40. I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.
  41. Damn, I’m glad I’m not blind!
  42. If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?
  43. Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it is an emergency. My mom told me to give her a call the first time I fell in love.
  44. I’ll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle!
  45. Excuse me, do you have a band-aid? Because I cut my knee when I fell for you.
  46. Well here I am. What are your other two wishes?
  47. You smell. Let’s shower.
  48. Oh baby, you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.
  49. Are you an alarm clock? ‘Cause you opened my eyes
  50. Are you a zoo? Because you bring the animal out in me.
  51. Are you a magician? Because ever time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
  52. Do you know why I can’t see any stars tonight? You outshine them.
  53. Let’s save water. Let’s shower together.
  54. My neck hurts, because as soon as you walked by I whipped my head!
  55. What pick-up line actually works on you?
  56. Did you get those jeans on sale? Because at my house their 100% off.
  57. Hi, I’m Fun. I don’t think you’ve had me yet.
  58. Are your parents terrorists? Because you’re the bomb.
  59. Wanna go behind a rock and get a little boulder?
  60. If I follow the rainbow will I get you in the end?
  61. Good thing I’m not flammable because you’re smoking hot.
  62. Do you like water? (Yes) Then you already like 70 percent of me.
  63. If you held six roses in front of a mirror you’d see seven of the most beautiful things in the world.
  64. I’m like a clock and you’re the batteries. Without you my world would end!
  65. Hey can you please scratch my back? My arms are far too muscular for me to reach.
  66. Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of vitamin me.
  67. You must be peanut butter because you’re making my legs feel like jelly!
  68. Hey my name is John, but you can call me later!
  69. Are you religious? (Why?) Because you’re the answer to my prayers.
  70. Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I’m asking for only one.
  71. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
  72. Let’s play chess. You turn off the light and I’ll make the first move!
  73. Can I take your temperature?
  74. Excuse me miss, can I have the time? I’d check my watch but I can’t take my eyes off you.
  75. That shirt is awful. Take it off now!
  76. Baby do you have a license? ‘Cause you’re driving me crazy
  77. You’ll do.

Liked it
  1. Jen
    Posted August 12, 2008 at 11:58 pm

    Number 63 is actually pretty sweet. I don’t know if it would work, but it’s cute.

  2. Spelling Nazi
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 4:39 am

    It’s spelled “ridiculous”…

  3. CN
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 5:22 am

    29 and 68 are remarkably similar….

  4. ass man
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 9:03 am

    77 is the b e s t!

  5. Paul Corvus
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 11:27 am

    Some of these are amazing… Great list.

  6. dabomb
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 11:51 am

    that was hilarious, I totally enjoyed this article, great job


  7. Heart Stone
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    That was cute and little bit funny.

  8. blackoutt
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    to think other people spent there time working on this pick up lines. if only they worked lol

  9. Noel Baird
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    I can’t beleive people fall for some of those lines.
    But I can beleive men use them.

  10. thestickman
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    Awww… -that’s so cute! And funny!

    You know, DaVinci allegedly keep ‘a record’ like this, but of euphamisms of the time, of …the male sex organ! Yeah, a lesser-known DaVinci fact. I suppose today that list would include such contemporary terms such as “Johnson”, “Wang”, etc… :- Whatever..

  11. Reader
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 9:52 pm

    Hah, I like 63 and 26, which are actually pretty cute…but 29 and 68 are almost the same!!

  12. Kalista Leow
    Posted August 14, 2008 at 11:36 am

    I love it. It keeps me laughing and laughing and laughing. Totally awesome and super funny.

  13. AmyLynn
    Posted August 14, 2008 at 11:47 am

    #59 was the best by far!!!!! hilarious

  14. Linnea Blue
    Posted August 14, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    What about, “Hey are you Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get!”

  15. sean
    Posted August 14, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    thats well funny!!! im printing them off and using them

  16. RJ Chamberlain
    Posted August 14, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    Some great lines here mate. Nice work!

  17. Malik Amandla
    Posted August 14, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    This is very funny and witty. I really enjoyed reading this.

  18. khalina
    Posted August 14, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    LMFAO!! omg ur great!!

  19. Stein
    Posted August 14, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    How about “Hey baby, you know what chloroform smells like?”

  20. Karen N
    Posted August 15, 2008 at 10:53 am

    Cute article :)

  21. I was stumbling and found this one written months ago:
    Posted August 15, 2008 at 4:01 pm


  22. Lissette Benitez de Cruz
    Posted August 15, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    Really nice! I liked it very much.

  23. rebrecon
    Posted August 16, 2008 at 5:32 am

    Hey my name is John, but you can call me later!

    People call me John, but you can call me tonight!
    are same almost =]

  24. Viktor
    Posted August 17, 2008 at 11:48 am

    How about. Nice Shoes. Wanna %$@*?

  25. Dani
    Posted August 17, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    How about

    - Is your dad a baker? Because you’ve got nice buns

    - Nice legs, when do they open?

    - Those jeans would look better on my bedroom floor

    - I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock

    - Aren’t you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day

    - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’m put “U” and “I” together

    - Hey baby, want to be a STUD? because I’ve got the STD and all I need is U

  26. bgu
    Posted November 3, 2008 at 9:41 pm

    do you work at subway? because you sure are giving me a foot long.

  27. Diomed
    Posted November 4, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    Girl, your body is like a wrench, cause when I think about it my nuts tighten.

  28. Posted November 19, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    According to your article on How To Stay Clean, #47 really needs a mate. I hope the line worked for him. Lol

    * (¯`·. ¤ Jo

  29. hfj
    Posted December 4, 2008 at 11:50 am

    Some of these we have all used before but, some of them are even new to me. Very informative.

  30. gopher
    Posted December 18, 2008 at 6:23 pm


  31. A sailor
    Posted March 5, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    If we were squirrels, I’d put my nuts in your hole.

  32. Terry Wagar
    Posted April 22, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Eric Carlson and Joan Wagar, A,K,A, Doubleclick and Mrs Dash,( yes those are there nicknames they gave each other.) admitted to poisoning me while I was a plasma donor back in 2005.
    Eric Carlson pedofied me behind prison walls and then framed me as a pedophile on march 26th 2007, I caught the crime on a audio recorder I put in Joan’s purse.
    there were people in authority helping them with this and nobody in authority will help they pretend nothing happened and refuse to investigate this.
    Eric Carlson changed his hair color and his name to Gashel and Clackamas Walmart was hiding him from my Family by pretending He’s someone else but this is not hidden, only ignored by the authority’s and media
    I’m disabled from being poisoned and the hospitals refuse to admit I’m poisoned.
    My Family is in danger from these people and I have no other recourse but to make these charges public.
    My name is Terry Wagar,Im from Portland Oregon and I’m backing up these charges.
    I have been threatened with harassment charges by a Sargent Walker, She is a Portland Police officer stationed at the OHSU hospital, for the non crime of reporting a multi murder conspiracy within that hospital.
    They dont give a s4!t Joan and Eric was poisoning a plasma donor!
    And how many god damn John Ray’s in authority are there in portland oregon!
    You damn serial killer.
    Where did Mrs Dash keep her stash? in A Garlic Salt Shaker!
    What did Doubleclick do with his Dick? You Pedo!
    Why you hiding A body double for Clackamas Walmart?
    Cover this up Sgt Walker!


  33. carter
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:00 am

    was your dad a thief? because i think i saw him on america’s most wanted…

  34. Lia
    Posted June 8, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    That was hilarious! I got hiccups now though.

  35. McFucked and Mc Trashed
    Posted October 21, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    (licks finger / wipes on victims shirt) Lets get you out of those wet clothes….. you people need to stop looking for pick up lines and get laid. As in dick inserted in vagina.

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