I have a boyfriend

The “b” word is often the deathblow to any single man seeking the attention and admiration of a woman. I have learned however, that the phrase “I have a boyfriend” is rather complex with multiple meanings. One needs to appreciate that this simple phrase is one that is used over and over by women, and in their mind it works in multiple different ways.

Imagine the situation. A man is having a pleasant conversation with a woman, in a bar, at a coffee shop, or in the holding cell at the city jail. The man senses a connection and asks the woman if she wants to go out with him. She says….

I have a boyfriend

What she means is that there is absolutely no way on earth that she would were ever go out with you. She doesn’t want to go out with you, but she also does not want to hurt your feelings. Some how, “No, thank you” is too harsh and inconsiderate. She appreciates consideration, honesty and integrity in relationships, so, of course, she will not tell you the truth; she will lie. She will tell you that she has a boyfriend. Sometimes, she does have a boyfriend. She might say:

I have a boyfriend

A woman might say this when she kind of, sort of, but not really has a boyfriend. She might be in a boyfriend-limbo situation. This is the we are broken-up, but not really broken-up situation. It is an I am not talking to him because he is so rude and insensitive type of situation. She has broken up with him, but still loves him, but not really. Well, maybe, but not right now. Ok, maybe right now, but not really. So, he is not a boyfriend, but might be a boyfriend in short order, as soon as he realizes what he did, or what did not do, or thought about doing when he shouldn’t have, or didn’t think about what he should have been doing. As soon as he buys roses and apologizes he might be a boyfriend again.

Now sometimes, the “I have a boyfriend” crutch excuse comes up in a time of panic. The woman doesn’t know what to say, so she says…

I have a boyfriend

In this case she does really like the guy and wants to go out with him, but she is confused about why he wants to go out with her. She had such high regard for him, until he actually picked her and then wonders why he would ever do such a thing. Thoughts of “Oh my gosh, what do I say?” rush through her mind. She knows that she likes him, wants to go out with him, so… she says….

I have a boyfriend

Women are complicated.