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Chinese Fortune Cookies From Sex Therapists

Published by Steven West in Relationship
July 16, 2009

Here are fifteen wise and witty fortune cookie sayings from sex therapists.

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Do you have a problem with sex? Perhaps you need to see a sex therapist. After a few sessions, you might become a new person. Here are fifteen fortune cookie sayings from sex therapists:

  1. At work, at play, and in the bed, life has its ups and downs.
  2. Keep your two girlfriends away from going to the same restaurant unless you like to live your life dangerously.
  3. Remember to keep your thoughts clean and your sheets clean at the same time.
  4. Go to your grocery store and buy a lot of vegetables, particularly cucumbers. You are going to have a very exciting evening tonight.
  5. Two’s company, but four makes for an extremely stimulating night.
  6. Despite all your cosmetic surgeries, your heart is still true. Time to bring pleasure to your new body parts.
  7. It is difficult to have a moist erotic kiss if your lips are severly chapped.
  8. Condemn violence, but use a condom when having sex.
  9. If you have an affair, make it count for everything you got because if you are discovered, you will lose everything you got.
  10. Sex is like fireworks. It can be very explosive, but can also have its duds.
  11. You cannot substitute pills for love. However, they do have interesting side effects.
  12. Your passion will flow like a raging river. You are under a flood watch tonight.
  13. A little music and a little food will put your partner in the right mood. But a little gas will swiftly burn out the flames of desire.
  14. Give your honey a great big hug. Sorry, your honey has the flu. Now your hug has given you the bug.
  15. Embrace your lover, but never lock braces together.

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2 Comments

  1. Posted July 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Oh your mind works soooooooooo strange! Good thing or I wouldn’t be having so much fun reading your stuff. LOL. Good one again!

  2. Posted July 16, 2009 at 8:40 pm

    My Sex Therapist dropped me as a patient. For our appointments, she hated that I always came too early.

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