Fifteen Ways to Tell that Your Boyfriend’s an Alien

Aliens are everywhere. Haven’t you seen Men in Black? Your next-door neighbor may be an alien. What about your boyfriend? Here are fifteen ways to tell that your boyfriend is an alien:

1. Your boyfriend uses toothpaste as a shampoo. His hair starts to glisten and glow.
2. Your boyfriend has seven fingers on each hand
3. Your boyfriend has a sexual encounter with you of the third kind
4. Your boyfriend interprets the Teletubbies gibberish as secret codes
5. Your boyfriend cuts a hole in his pants for his long tail
6. Your boyfriend has an accident and starts bleeding greenish blue blood
7. Your boyfriend thinks that a moose is sexy. Suddenly you notice that your boyfriend is growing antlers out of his head.
8. Your boyfriend starts to resemble an exaggerated form of Jay Leno
9. Your boyfriend sucks on seaweed and makes strange high-pitched whale sounds
10. Your boyfriend kisses you on the earlobe and breaks out in a sweat. You notice that his ears are very pointy.
11. Your boyfriend has reading glasses that he has attached to his ankles
12. Your boyfriend can speak in one hundred different languages out of the side of his belly button
13. Your boyfriend starts drinking ketchup and burps out red bubbles
14. Sarah Palin infatuates your boyfriend. He gets excited and turns all green and red. He then says, “She’s one of ours.”.
15. Your boyfriend starts cleaning the kitchen floor with his three-foot tongue. He does a great job except for the fact that the floor is all slimy.