They are the most important part of our lives. The ones we endeavor to spend the rest of our lives with. Our wives and girlfriends can also drive us mad with confusion. They have the innate ability to be loving one moment, and completely and utterly confusing the next. They can be masters of manipulation, but they always have our best interests in mind. They are loving, caring, and always remind us of what’s best in our lives. Despite this, wouldn’t it be nice to just play some of the same mind games and tricks on them, as they do us? Just once wouldn’t it be fun to expose them to the same maze of confusion? There is a way to give them a little different perspective on things. Some might call it a suicide mission, but you can get that special someone to admit she’s wrong.

I am downstairs and can’t hear a word you’re saying!

Why is it that women always try and talk to us when we are absolutely nowhere in site. We don’t even have to be on the same floor, and they’ll just start talking or asking us questions. As soon as we hear them we know immediately what’s going on. Regardless, we still take the time to walk up the stairs and ask them to repeat the question. What if we didn’t? What would happen if we just replied in the same confusing and incoherent way? If done right, they would start to come to see us and ask us to repeat the question. Consider the following approach. The moment you hear her ask you a question that you can’t understand, simply cover your mouth, muffle your voice, or walk up and push your face against a wall, and answer her. This works extremely well. Make sure your answer is impossible to understand. You might want to throw in a couple statements about how important it is for her to call her mother, father, or friend back. There is no rhyme or reason to the approach, as long as your answer is complete gibberish. Just make sure it is completely incoherent, and then wait for her to respond. When she asks you to clarify, interrupt with another convoluted and confusing answer. Use the same muffled voice, and then wait again. The moment she replies with “What?” you immediately reply back with the same “What?”, and wait again. She’ll come back with another question, and you’ll immediately begin speaking with an even more confusing and muffled voice. Eventually, she’ll come down and state that she could not possibly understand what the heck you were saying. At this point, with a smile on your face, you state that it must have been because she was upstairs and you were downstairs. Don’t be too smug, because you’ll pay for it dearly. Smile just enough to prove a point, and make her consider ever doing it again. You may just find you’ll have to repeat this a couple of times before she understands your frustration.

Honey, I am watching TV.

Why is it when we’re watching football, or some other sport, that they choose that exact moment to stand in front of the TV and ask us a question? Only later do we find out we agreed to some ridiculous arrangement or some promise to attend some boring dinner with some of her friends. The problem is if you say that now is not the right time, you’ll get bombarded with statements about how it’s never the right time, and how you’re always watching football or something. You end up just telling her what she wants to hear in order to get her to move. What if you did the exact same thing to her? How would you go about doing it? You have to wait until she is watching her favorite program. Walk up in front of her and the TV. Don’t ask your question right away. Start first by leading into your question. Go slow and take your time. When she asks you to leave, state that it is never a good time to ask her, and that she is always watching whatever it is she’s watching. State that you aren’t asking for much, just a couple of minutes of her time. Is that too much to ask? Continue leading into your question. Again, take your time and wait for her to show some frustration with you. Now is the time you ask your question. She may answer immediately with “no”, but stick to your guns and start to ramble on until she gives in and agrees. You may not get exactly what you want, but you will make a point. Just beware the look in her eyes. If she is really upset, wave the white flag and retreat. You want to make a point, but not upset her. An upset woman can make your life miserable. You just want to show her how frustrating it can all be.

Honey, did you really look?

Ever notice how you are never able to find what you are looking for until she comes and finds it for you? It just makes you feel ridiculous and slow. You are completely dumfounded and confused. You just spent a minute moving everything around, and yet she walks up and locates it within seconds. Now it’s time you return the favor. However, you must be cognizant of one simple truth; women can find anything. If you want this to work, you have to cheat. Take something and hide it in the closet so that only you can find it. Ask her to bring it to you as she leaves the bedroom. It’s real easy to find. When she can’t find it, you swoop down and find it for her. Voila, instant success! Now, you return the favor with your standard questions and statements. It was right there! Did you look? How come I found it?

They bring out the best in us. They are the source of our happiness and the reason why we’ll do anything for love. They show us the right path, remind us of what’s truly important, and help guide us through difficult times. We are just different in the way we view things. None of these approaches are any use unless you take the time to laugh about them afterwards. The intention is not to show her who’s boss. She’s the boss, plain and simple. However, when you can laugh together, you’ll most likely stay together. Always remember the importance of having fun as part of your relationship. Make sure to enjoy these little games and always end on a positive note. It’s just fun to share in the confusion once in a while.