Seven of the Dumbest Inventions Ever Patented

Published by in Jokes
26th Oct 2008

Urinal Goals

I have to place this one at the top of my list because I’ve predicted what the initial reaction of the viewers is already. I came across this random site out of nowhere and found an advertisement for this ‘toilet’ which claimed the product would (quote) ‘Make Urinating Fun!’ This is what gave me the idea of writing this article, you see.

Thumb Wrestling Ring

I found this funny little invention on the same product seller website, in fact. I’m certain that it will keep your thumbs healthy – its a great idea for thumb exercise! Simply get a friend, put your thumbs in, and go. You could probably even get an audience to place bets of it.

Inflatable Dartboard

If you haven’t noticed yet, then here’s the clue: Dart plus inflatable equals? I seriously have to wonder how it works; after all, I have not bought this product (it would be funny if the thing blew up as soon as I tried to play with it) and so do not know the consequences of puncturing the board. You never know, because you may be the one who orders this invention online and find that it really isn’t so stupid. Until then, why don’t we maintain our negative attitudes?

Anti-Fart Pants

Whoever patented this pair of underpants must have had some serious gas issues – if you know what I mean. It supposedly has an in-built gas filter, made out of felt, charcoal, and fiberglass wool. It is also air proof both at the waist area and the leg openings, once worn. The filters require replacing from time to time, depending on frequency of ‘use’, which could either simply be the number of times wearing them, or the number of farts released while wearing them.

Pet Diaper Harness

The problem with using normal pet diapers is that they tend to fall off. With the new pet diaper harness, you can be certain that they don’t. Imagine your pet was able to use the bathroom literally anywhere. This could be in the mall, at a restaurant, or at a friend’s house. The only issue would be the smell, of course.

Light-Up Toilet

It’s night time, dark, and you don’t want to wake up your family by opening the lights to the bathroom. You sit down, do your ‘job’, and realize – ‘Darn, where is the toilet paper?’ With this amazingly retarded invention, you can now be at peace during the hours of nice while sitting on the toilet. This is because every single time you site on it, sensors detect your presence and automatically switch on a cool neon-green light to let you see how you’re doing. Isn’t it great?

Remote Controlled Burp Machine

This may look innocent at first glance, but it’s really a weapon of mass destruction! Whoever designed it was a genius! Simply press a button on the small remote control to release a wave of destructive burp sounds. Warning: keep device away from teachers, parents, employees (unless you want to get fired), girlfriend, boyfriend, little kids (it’s a bad influence), old people (this product poses as a serious health risk to them), etc…

Note:

I actually cannot tell you where to buy most of these products. I was being ‘humorous’ when I informed you that I could.

  • Lauren Axelrod

    These are interesting. Of course I would never waste my money but, their still kinda funny

  • eddiego65

    People can really be very inventive! Thanks for the entertaining article!

  • joystick7

    Real Fun.. I would like to order 1 of each :) 🙂

  • CTMHolliday

    I want the Burp Machine. Nice work great laugh.