Ten New Things You Never Say to a Bully

The school bully is approaching you. Use a lot of tact in what you are about to say. Here are ten things that you should not say unless you have a good health insurance policy.

1.   Man, do you ever take a shower? You stink to high heaven. Are you related to skunks?

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2.   Who cut your hair? It looks like it was styled by Atilla the Hun.

3.   Do you ever smile? Cosmetic surgery could really do wonders for you.

4.   Can I borrow you for a second?  I have somebody that I would like to be punched out.

5.   Your breath smells awful. Do you eat garlic and onions for breakfast?

6.   I’m not afraid of you. I know Kung Fu. Actually, I don’t know Kung Fu personally, but I brother Joe does.

7.   You want to fight? You really want to fight? Wait until my big sister arrives. She weighs 240 pounds and will flatten you.

8.   I know that you want my lunch money. I have a cold lunch today. Would you like some Ding Dongs instead?

9.  You’ve already given me two black eyes. Why don’t you hit me in the nose so that I can bleed all over you?

10.Hey, King Kong, you may have the brawn, but you brain is in hibernation.