Vice-President of the Corporation – For Now
The President, CEO and owner of a major international corporation just hired a new Vice President to run one of his many satellite companies, a company that has been suffering financially in these difficult economic times. This new man was replacing the previous Vice President, who had recently resigned.
This new V.P. had explicit instructions in case of financial emergency for the company he was assuming. There were three numbered envelopes outlining the quarterly strategy, to be opened in turn at the end of each quarter if the profits were bad. These were left to him by the outgoing former Vice President, but were instructions came directly from the Owner of the Company, the President.
- If the company continued to suffer economic loss over the next quarter-term, he was to open envelope #1 and follow the instructions given.
- If the second quarter continued to weaken the company’s bottom line profits, open letter #2 and follow those instructions.
- And lastly, if the company bottom line was still falling at the end of the Third quarter, open envelope #3 and follow those final instructions, explicitly and to the very letter.
Well it came to pass that the company in question failed to meet its targeted financial goals in the First Quarter, so the Vice President felt that he needed to open sealed letter #1. The instructions read:
To conserve profits, fire the Team Lead Managers and consolidate the teams into larger groups, answering to an elected volunteer leader, one from each new group.
Several jobs were thus eliminated and it seemed as if this might help the company financially by reducing its corporate payroll. This was done. And still, the profits were sliding.
By the end Second financial Quarter, the Vice President felt he must open letter #2 and follow its advice. That letter said:
You must now outsource our technical documentation and IT support to any offshore company that can do it for less, and fire whoever now has nothing to do for additional payroll savings.
This was done, and several more jobs were eliminated. Yet still, the company was not quite into ‘black ink’ by the end of the third quarter. Sales were still declined. Profits were low. Growth was neglegible. The outsourcing idea turned out to be a disaster. The files were always received incomplete, late, translated incorrectly or inadequately and all were documented poorly. There were factual mistakes and ommissions in every document returned even though the full source had been provided. It was a nightmare!
It was so bad that every returned document had to be re-done by the local office every time so it actually ended up costing more, not less!
So the Vice President by the end of the Third Quarter felt compelled to open the third and final envelope for whatever drastic advice it contained, as per his instruction from the President of the Corporation. That letter said simply:
Tender your resignation immediately. But first, leave three numbered envelopes outlining the company strategy for the next Vice President…
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4 Comments
Excellent!
That is funny!
Bravo! It’s a great Article and very well-written piece. Thaks for sharing!
nice article and very funny.