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10 Funny Dr. Phil Quotes

Published by Paula Mitchell Bentley in Offbeat
September 12th, 2008

Dr. Phil is a television personality with a style all his own. He tends to say the most ridiculous things which always make me laugh. Here’s a run down of him and ten of, I think, his funniest quotes.

Phil McGraw was born in 1950 and was the only boy, with 3 sisters. He followed in his father’s footsteps of becoming a psychologist after graduating in 1975 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology, a master degree in experimental psychology in 1976 and a PhD in clinical psychology in 1979 from the University of North Texas. He joined his father’s private psychology practice upon graduating. The two McGraw’s later joined up with with a Texan business woman to present a series called “Pathways” which helped people live up to their full potential. It has been said that some of Dr. Phil’s quaint sayings and methodologies come directly from these seminars which were not written entirely by him.

In 1989, Dr. Phil was cited for a “dual relationship” with a patient who was also an employee. He was restricted from practicing psychology independently, a restriction which remains in place to this day. In 1990, Dr. Phil co-founded a trial consulting firm. In 1995, Dr. Phil met Oprah through this company’s representation of her in a trial with beef farmer’s about disparaging remarks made on her show. Oprah found his advice and style refreshing and by 1998, Dr. Phil was appearing on Oprah’s show weekly.

By 2002, Dr. Phil had his own show where he could offer advice and wisdom in his own style and on his own terms. He continues to do so throughout many controversies and criticisms of him. His style has been called anything from overly simplistic to down right dangerous. Instead of patiently guiding people through a crisis, he tends to order them around and point out, what he sees, is the obvious. Of his own style, Dr. Phil has been quoted as saying: “I’m not the Hush-Puppies, pipe and ‘Let’s talk about your mother’ kind of psychologist’”.

Dr. Phil’s odd ways of stating things have been given a term all their own — they’re called Philisms. Some people love him and some people just love to hate him. Either way, I think he’s pretty funny. There’s even a random Dr. Phil quote generator on the web that is hysterical, although not actual quotes from Dr. Phil. Here’s 10 funny ones from the man himself:

  1. “If someone out there doesn’t agree with me, then somewhere a village is missing their idiot.”
  2. “No dog ever peed on a moving car.”
  3. “You’re only lonely if you’re not there for you.”
  4. “Opinions are like asses, everybody’s got one!”
  5. “You need to marry yo’ baby mama.” (Said to David Letterman when he announced he was having a baby, lol)
  6. “Your feelings? To hell with your feelings!”
  7. “That dog don’t hunt.”
  8. “Don’t make me put your head in my blender!”
  9. “A man can’t ‘just be friends’ with another woman. Period.”
  10. “This ain’t my first rodeo son!”

Some people think he’s the answer to every question. I think he’s great. However, his answers often leave me with more questions!

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16 Comments
  1. Michelle
    Posted December 9, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    Does the quote “A man can’t ‘just be friends’ with another woman. Period” come from one of his books? I’ve been trying to explain this to my fiance but I want to read what dr.Phil has to say about it.

    Thank You

  2. Posted December 10, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    No, it’s something he’s said on his show. More than once actually. I think that his point is that there are sexual feelings/tensions in “friendships” between men and women. Even if they both see the relationship as platonic, there is definitely something going on between them according to Dr. Phil. Men should confide their feelings and words in their partners instead of taking these things outside of the relationship. You might be able to find more information on this on his website. Hope this helped at least a little.

  3. lidia
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 10:58 am

    i love your show.u r a stright forward person.

  4. gavin greene
    Posted May 21, 2009 at 8:13 am

    dr.phil i need help. my wife left me for her brother. im not to sure what to do so i asked my sister if we could sleep together and well i kinda got her pregnant. im so concerned about the situation…….what should i do….

  5. Ice Ice Baby
    Posted September 30, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    Really Gavin, Dr.Phil would slap you and give you a V8. Don’t sleep with your sister. It NEVER works out.

  6. jane doe
    Posted November 16, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    i think he’s a hick

  7. jane doe
    Posted November 16, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    i think dr.phil is cool sometimes help ppl out but besides tht he a mean guy from the south tht rides his horse to work every day love for the union

  8. jane doe
    Posted November 16, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    hey Gavin ur a freak man i think u need more than help getting ur own family memeber knocked up tht’s wrong u sud die!

  9. Raw
    Posted December 14, 2009 at 1:32 am

    Waht a load of Cr*#. This utter non-sense is entertained only by people living in la la land. Pathetic

  10. Habanero
    Posted November 13, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    What is a load of crap (other than Gavin line of b.s. only put here as a joke) is these people who have no spelling or language skills, period. Go to school and for crying out loud proofread, proofread, proofread before posting. Use dictionary.com if you’re not sure of a spelling. Otherwise, people will know you have the intellectual agility of a small soap dish!

  11. heather carmen ledet
    Posted December 14, 2011 at 12:07 am

    Define “dual relationship” this eludes to an affair and if it is true, it A-M-A-Z-I-N-G how this bit of illicit information has never materialized in the media..I mean if it did, it would amount to nothing more than speculative infotainment, unless of course it could be proven, which to me suggests it isn’t true, the media would be all over this…. Wow!! And so what if his sayings are not original, no thought is original, I mean, it started somewhere…but a lot of things we say, we heard it somewhere first; some people are just smart enough to incorporate it in their daily talk…in my humble opinion.

  12. mcarn
    Posted January 9, 2012 at 9:27 am

    I like the one he uses a lot that states “doesn’t matter how flat you make the pancake – it still has two sides”

  13. SusieQ
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Gavin, didn’t you see his quotes. He said “this ain’t my rodeo son”.

  14. Posted September 21, 2012 at 10:05 am

    Gavin, didn\\\’t you see his quotes. He said \\\”this ain\\\’t my rodeo son\\\”.

  15. Posted September 21, 2012 at 10:07 am

    Gavin, didn\’t you see his quotes. He said \”this ain\’t my rodeo son\”.

  16. Posted January 20, 2013 at 4:15 am

    my favorite:
    “I want you to start living as a gay woman, and I want you to start having a gay relationship.”

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