Amorous tourist complains of dulled ardour due to amorous elephant.

Image source

Some people just like to complain. Others hope their complaints may make them a few pounds, if somebody believes them.

But in a recent report by holiday companies, some of the complaints published are beyond belief.

There were reports of Brits complaining that Spain was too full of Spanish people and that restaurants in India had too many curries on the menus.

There was an American holidaymaker in England who asked “Why on earth did they build Windsor Castle on the flight path of Heathrow?”

But the classic had to be from the tourist who was staying at a top African game lodge.

The room overlooked the water holewhere the animals congregated. He complained that  the sight of an obviously rather aroused large bull elephant made him feel totally “inadequate” for the rest of his honeymoon!

Did you know……

…that you can’t lick your own elbow?

Security van carrying thousands rammed by prison van carrying bank robbers.

$28,000 went missing when a security van was involved in a smash with a prison van carrying convicted bank robbers.

The crash which happened in Hungary left a lot of red faced officials with a lot of suspicions.

While rescuers pulled the prisoners from their burning van, bags of cash that had been strewn from the security van onto the streets of Budapest started disappearing. Car drivers were stopping, picking up the bags and speeding off again.

By the time police arrived at the scene $28,000 had gone missing.

Police were convinced it was an “inside” organised job, but this was vigorously denied by the lags who, at the time of the accident, were on their way back to prison after a court appearance.

“The bank remains very suspicious. Of all the vehicles that could have hit their van, it had to be one full of bank robbers,” said a police spokesman.

Where were the risk assessments?

In a typical year in the USA, on average, thirteen people are killed by vending machines falling on them on beaches.

Life imitating art?

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 Everybody has heard of the sinking of the Titanic, in 1912, and most people have an inkling as to the story behind it.

But what about the story that came before it?

Some 14 years earlier in 1898, Morgan Robertson published a book called Futility.

This told the story of a magnificent liner called the Titan. Built with 19 water tight compartments, the ship would stay afloat even if nine of them filled with water. The owners of the Titan felt that this ship was so technologically superior that it only required 24 lifeboats to seat 500 of its 3,000 passengers.

In the story, the Titan sank after hitting an iceberg on the starboard side, leaving only 13 survivors. The month was April.

When the real tragedy of the Titanic happened, Morgan took the only steps that any self respecting author could do.

He republished it under the title of “The Wreck of the Titan”.

Oral un-hygiene

Warning if you have a less than six foot bathroom…….

Dentists have recommended that toothbrushes be kept at least six feet from toilets, to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

Let’s not go there.

“Who nicked my magma?”

One of the largest volcanic eruptions of the 20th century occurred in 1912, on the Alaska Peninsula in Katmai National Park and Preserve, about 290 miles (470 km) southwest of Anchorage. The eruption formed the volcano Novarupta. The 60 hour long eruption put up 30 times the amount of magma produced when Mount St Helena erupted in 1980.

The eruption was so large that it took the magma from below the nearby Mount Katmai, resulting in a 1.2 mile funnel shaped vent and the collapse of the summit of Mount Katmai.

Seaside fish eats “chips”

Image credit: Hans-Petter Fjeld

Businessman Andrew Cheatle was having a great day down at the beach, near Worthing in Sussex. He and his dog were chasing around, playing the fool as only a man and his dog will. All too soon it was time to go, but when Andrew felt in his pocket for his mobile phone, he found it was missing. He spent some time looking around the beach for it but had to give it up as a lost cause.

Over the next few days he rang the number of the phone several times in the hope that someone had found it and picked it up.

Eventually he had to admit defeat and realise that it must have been washed out to sea.

A few days later while shopping for a new phone with his girlfriend, Rita Smith, her phone rang. Puzzled, she declared that it was his old phone number ringing her. Answering the call, she handed the phone to Andrew saying that there was a guy on the line talking about fish and mobile phones.

It transpired that Glen Kerley, while out fishing had caught an enormous cod. Gutting it that morning he was astonished to find a mobile phone inside it that turned out to be the one lost by Andrew!

Amazingly after drying it out the phone still worked.

Glen said “It was a bit smelly but I was glad to return it.”

Biased advertising.

The world’s first advert by an automobile company, for a motor car, was in 1898 in the magazine “Scientific America”.

The Winton Motor Car Company of Cleveland, Ohio, advertised under the inspiring slogan:

“Dispense with a Horse.”

Yoda the four-eared cat.

This is Yoda who was born with the genetic mutation of two pairs of ears.

He was adopted by Valerie and Ted Rock from a local bar where they found a group of drinkers passing him around and mocking the little guy.

He has come to be a much loved and “normal” member of the family at home in Chicago, Illinois.

However since first appearing on the internet he is fast becoming a celebrity appearing in British newspaper and US daytime TV shows.

His owners are keeping a close eye on him only too aware of the possibility of catnappers.

However you feel about some of the above facts, there is one thing that you can be sure about: every person, who read this article tried to lick their elbow!

(I was unable to source and credit the original photo of “Yoda”. For educational purposes this image was used where no alternatives were freely available.)

Also by this writer:

 Five Mysteries and Surprises in Everyday Domestic Routines

Amazing Discovery: Answers to the Secrets of Life Uncovered in Postcards

10 Amazing Music Trivia Facts You Never Knew

 The Mystery of the Screaming Man

Saucy Seaside Postcards

High Jinks on the High Seas