Right, here’s the thing, I have a fear of balloons, and people always think I’m completely bonkers for it, so I thought I’d see what other unusual phobias there are out there, you know, just to make myself look slightly less insane!

Ambulophobia – Fear of walking.

Hmm… I know a few people who would probably claim to have this if they knew it existed. The real term for them however is lazy – straight to the point and much easier to spell.

Autodysomophobia – Fear of one who has a vile odour.

Well, let’s face it, whether you’re crammed into a crowded train on the daily commute to work or stuck in a well-packed lift for twenty floors, this one is something we all fear from time to time.

Barophobia – Fear of gravity.

How the heck do you live with that one?! I guess you must just hide away dreaming of the days when space travel reaches the masses.

Cacophobia – Fear of ugliness.

Aaw, and there was me thinking those people who picked on me at school were just plain shallow. Poor things. NOT.

Coprastasophobia – Fear of constipation.

Uh… let’s be honest, does anyone really like it?!

Didaskaleinophobia – Fear of going to school.

Ah, I can see it now! Schoolchildren up and down the country walking up to their teachers and saying: “Sorry, Miss, I can’t come to school anymore, my Mom says I have didaskaleinophobia. Oh, and by the way, the dog ate my homework.”

Ephebiphobia – Fear of teenagers.

I know they’re grumpy, over-dramatic, brooding and generally annoying (come on, folks, we’ve all been there!) but are they really scary? Just threaten them with some really uncool trainers and they’ll soon run a mile.

Euphobia – Fear of hearing good news.

Just… why???

Gamophobia - Fear of marriage.

Uh-oh! Don’t let the men of the world get wind of this one! “No, my darling, it’s not that I don’t want to marry you. I’m afraid I have gamophobia. The doctors say it’s incurable.”

Geniophobia – Fear of chins.

Does this include your own chin? Because if it does, then talk about a rough deal! It would be like someone with arachnophobia walking around with a spider sellotaped to their face all day.

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia – Fear of the number 666.

I just threw this one in because I like big words. Speaking of which…

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – Fear of long words.

How ironic!

Lockiophobia – Fear of childbirth.

Well, I’d say that’s a pretty rational fear really! Unless you’re a sadist… or a gynaecologist of course, but that would just be silly.

Pentheraphobia – Fear of mother-in-laws.

Is this one serious?! I mean, I know we’ve all heard the many mother-in-law jokes told by bad comedians, but an actual phobia of them? Surely that’s a bit much.

Oopsiwishidneverreadthisstupidlistophobia – Fear of reading boring lists that think they’re funny but really aren’t.

Don’t worry, I made that last one up… Apologies if you feel like you have it anyway though!