Alcoholic Inmates Anonymous, Hotel Heists and Odd Animals

Published by in Offbeat
25th Sep 2009

I’ve recently been going through the UK’s daily papers and finding one or two weird news items and giving you links to them but I’m now finding myself in a position where I can’t keep up with the weird and wonderful so I’m trying a change of tack and just give you a brief rundown of what I found intriguing or amusing!

Here’s my top four for today.

Image by via Flickr

I was checking out the Daily Telegraph and came across something particularly odd.  It seems that, in order to try and keep swine ‘flu at bay in H M Prison The Verne in Dorset, the governor sanctioned the purchase of a goodly supply of anti-bacterial hand gel.  As soon as it was distributed amongst the prisoners apparently one of the inmates decided it’d be a good idea to drink it rather than shove it on his hands.  I’m not sure how much the prisoner actually drank but he became a tad tiddly and started a fight.  Before anyone knew it, there was a full blown behind bars brawl.  Oddly enough, the staff at the prison took away what remained of the hand gel, presumably considering it would be easier to deal with a swine ‘flu epidemic than an alcohol poison one!

It just begs the question, who was the prisoner who actually tried the hand gel in the first place?  I’m just wondering what I’ve got under the kitchen sink that I could try?  How about a Mr Muscle Margarita for starters?

Read more in Offbeat« The Monkey Who Raided My FridgeWitch Hunt 2009, Funny Fruit, Speeding Cyclists and Sweetener Sickness »

The second news item that interested me was again from the Daily Telegraph.  It gave details of some of the strangest items that had been taken from hotel rooms.  Amongst those that caught my eye were a marble fireplace; a whole room – the contents were completely stripped; a mounted boar’s head; a hotel owner’s dog; a grand piano and a selection of sex toys. 

Once again, my brain went into overdrive, particularly when it came to the sex toys.  I can’t  imagine even using sex toys provided by a hotel let alone stealing them – you don’t know where they’ve been!!

Image via Wikipedia

My next story which was reported in several papers, relates to a tortoise that was found walking along the M25 motorway (freeway).  Thankfully, for once, most of the drivers were obviously keeping their eyes on the road and the tortoise was rescued by a tortoise loving driver who, having taken a little detour to the supermarket to pick up some lettuce and tomatoes for the traumatised turtle and then took him for a check up at the local vet where it was discovered that he was chipped so hopefully owners and family pet will soon be reunited.

Quite what the tortoise was doing on the M25 I have no idea.  Maybe, like many travellers before him, he couldn’t find the right junction off the circular motorway to reach home or another alternative could be that he’d been visiting The Verne Prison and had a drop too much of anti-bacterial hand gel!!!

And finally, what would you expect a badger to eat?  I’d always considered they spent their evenings rummaging around the woodlands looking out grubs, insects, worms and the odd mouse or two but it seems it’s now been discovered that the latest badger delicacy is hedgehog.  How can a badger who normally eats small and relatively ’smooth’ food cope with the prickles?  What motivates a badger to even consider tackling a hedgehog.  Maybe their lives are so mundane that they decided they wanted more of a challenge.  It’s a mystery to me but I’m sure that some night wildlife watcher will come up with a bit of video footage to enlighten me!

  • Frosty Johnson

    Im a Badger and nipping out for a Hedgehog or even having one delivered is one of my favourite gastronomic experiences, it gets a bit boring eating worms and slugs all day so its nice to get your teeth into something a bit spicier its just like you humans sending out for a curry or a chinese only a bit pricklier.

  • crazzykindachick

    thankyou for this artical. It is light hearted and fun and it makes you wonder what other totally weird things happen in this wonderfully weird world around us. i look forward to your future findings. well done on this entertaining artical.

  • Darla Cooke

    Interesting article.

  • athena goodlight

    I enjoyed reading this, especially the hand gel story– it’s just outrageous. Thanks for making me smile.

  • LV

    That is very interesting!

  • Leonardo da Vinci E.

    I ‘ve never taken anything from a Hotel(and never will), but I once went to a job interview for the Omni Hotel and while waiting I overheard the other two applicants joking about the things they had stolen from hotels. Apparently, I had an error on my resume having to do with a date or something and the interviewer gave me a hard time about what had to be a simple human error(naturally, it didn’t appear I would get the job). I left him interviewing the other two. I imagine one of them was hired.

  • Nikita K

    A very peculiar montage of little news snippets which I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Strange about the tortoise because I’d hate to find anything on any of the motorways let alone M25. I’m sure I thought I saw a dog/fox run across the M1 or something around a few months ago…very bizarre indeed.

  • STEVE666

    Great article. Some amusing tales there.