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Amazing Discovery: Answers to the Secrets of Life Uncovered in Postcards

Published by C Jordan in Offbeat
November 19th, 2008

The truth is in the cards.

I once wrote an article called Saucy Seaside Postcards. In that article I related the story of that very British institution “the seaside postcard” and in it pictured many examples of these colourful cards and their bawdy humour.

On publication it was reasonably well received and I thought no more about it, continuing, with the series of articles I was enjoying writing, on the graffiti artist Banksy.

I was contacted by a reader, who wanted to know if I was going to publish another article on “postcards”.

I thought why?

My vanity wanted them to ask for more about my “mosaics” article or about the amazing architectural rock formations of “Fingal s Cave

But no. They just wanted to be titillated by more cheap pics and giggles!

Or did they?

I read and re-read my article.

I pulled up the huge unused library of postcard pictures on my PC.

I scoured them for hours. I studied all the comments left on my article. Was the answer here?

The clouds parted and that ray of sunlight exploded through onto me.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

I realised that to these people I had, without realising it, revealed to them, their “Holy Graille”.

Look at the coded comments left to me on the article, which I had initially failed to understand:

lol obviously, now, means “Lit Our Lives”

lmao: “(your) Literature Makes All Open”

I believe that the reader who had contacted me was a spokesperson for the rest.

My article was like the “sandal of Brian” giving them a way forward.

What do people want in this modern society but guidance, a quick fix and to be shown the way forward? Was that what they had found in seaside postcards?

Were they using them as the recipe cards for a way to rise to a higher plane and uncover the answer to all the questions of life?

I certainly found good advice here.

But what about more specific issues? All the time we are being made to address health and safety issues wherever we are and whatever we are doing, and make risk assessments before carrying out any activity.

I found that that these issues were addressed!

What about the workplace and how one should conduct oneself in that environment?

Or customer relations?

I now became fully convinced.

What about seeking employment? No need for Google anymore, to figure out “how to do a CV” or “how to fill a form in.”

Outside of the workplace, there is a lot written about relationships and marital advice from courtship to marriage counselling. Should we turn to agencies or seek out articles on these issues?

No need – it’s all there in the cards.

Lonely hearts advice?

Parenting/child care seems covered.

Those that have produced these cards have even covered our fondness of animals:

gardening,

Cooking, advice, on the preparation of food: how and what to serve to guests

Insisting on getting the best deal from tradesmen.

Do it yourself projects.

Sport and leisure activities,

even medical and health issues. No need to scour those articles anymore! No need to bother with “those” sites about “role-playing” anymore. You don’t even need to look for articles on Fashion any more. But what about where we would like to be with our wishes and dreams? Are you now, like me, a convert to the secrets of the seaside postcard? Does this cover it for you? Is this what man is searching for? Is this what man desires the most? Look no further; the cards speak for themselves.

More Humour from this author:

Saucy Seaside Postcards

High Jinks on the High Seas

More High Jinks on the High Seas

27
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25 Comments
  1. Posted November 19, 2008 at 10:32 am

    I wonder why :)

    Very amusing agin, thanks.

  2. Posted November 19, 2008 at 10:41 am

    another good article.

  3. Posted November 19, 2008 at 10:44 am

    Very good. As a kid I was taken to Blackpool every year (sad I know) for holidays. I can remember being quite shocked as an easily shockable ten year old at these cards. It didn’t stop me looking at them though and it brings it all back.

  4. Posted November 19, 2008 at 10:46 am

    I am catching up on my reading so please forgive me. This is to amusing. Keep it up.

  5. Posted November 19, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    They’re cute. I think that’s why people like them–theyy’re saucy but in an oddly innocent kind of way.

    You don’t get that much any more these days. Or not often.

    Regards,

    Inna

  6. Posted November 19, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    lol….I loved the first one and I love this one! Great write, and I am still laughing!

  7. Posted November 19, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    Nice and amusing!

  8. Posted November 19, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    loved it ad much as the first one….very amusing.

  9. Posted November 19, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    naughtiness, fun and your witty intellect – always a winning combination for me Mr Jordan

  10. Posted November 19, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    Love the humor in all of these. They are terrific! Michael

  11. Lasan
    Posted November 19, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    lol! Liked it!

  12. goodselfme
    Posted November 19, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    Great selection and well done. I liked the first set too so came back for more.

  13. Posted November 19, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    Love it! Your wit is great!

  14. nobert soloria bermosa
    Posted November 19, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    wow.this is good and funny

  15. Posted November 20, 2008 at 12:52 am

    This is very entertaining.. Keep it up..

  16. Unofre Pili
    Posted November 20, 2008 at 3:00 am

    Thanks for the very good laugh. A must-read for bored people; this will surely make their days. Very very impressive!

  17. Posted November 20, 2008 at 5:43 am

    You’re incorrigible CJ! God, did I get a stiffy down on holidays to Brighton with the postcard racks. Nice memories…J

  18. Posted November 20, 2008 at 9:47 am

    Man, man, man! Love it, love it, love it!

  19. Posted November 20, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Laughing makes me feel good, publish more of this kind!

  20. Posted November 24, 2008 at 8:12 am

    Just TOO amusing…I want to print this out and post it on my ‘fridge- love the cards!

  21. Joanna Maharis
    Posted November 24, 2008 at 10:15 am

    Very humorous stuff. And most entertaining.

    Take Care,

    Joanna Maharis

  22. Posted November 27, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Hilariously funny! I had a good hearted belly laugh. Thanks again for sharing this entertaining peice.
    Warmest Regards,
    Chris

  23. Posted November 29, 2008 at 11:27 am

    Really enjoyable article. I will fill in the censored ones with mental images in my mind….erm..maybe not, it mayyyks mi tieping gow all funneee! (Sorry about that, just my strange of humour!)

  24. Posted January 20, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    Hahaha, this was hilarious and fun to read! Nicely written.

  25. Posted January 29, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Awesome! ;-D

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