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Build Your Own Zoo

Published by Frosty Johnson in Offbeat
September 27th, 2009

How to create your own zoo or safari park on a budget.

For those of you who have ever dreamed of owning your own zoo or safari park but dont have the cash to support such a venture, here is a simple way to Build your own zoo.

The only cost for this  venture is a large fishtank or vivarium ( the kind thats used for snakes/ toads etc) and some bendable wire that will be used to make mini cages, also you may need to purchase some small animals although you may be able to catch some of these in your garden, so lets start having a think about what animals you will keep in your zoo.

A good substitute for your lion is a small brown mouse, to further create the illusion of a fierce lion cut some fur from an old coat or hat and superglue it round the mouses neck to make a small mane, make a little cage out of your bendy wire and place your mini lion in the corner of your “zoo”

To make your mighty elephant you will require a guinea pig and some grey paint, paint your guinea pig grey all over and when it is dry cut out a length of velcro 3 inches long and half inch wide for the trunk and two semi circular pieces of velcro to act as little jumbos ears, the advantage of using velcro is if you want to change your guinea pig into a hippopotamus at a later date you just remove the velcro trunk and ears.

Now we come to the hardest animal to recreate the zebra, firstly go into your back garden and using a butterfly net capture around ten wasps which will act  as your zebra herd, being careful not to get stung gently pull off the wasps wings using a pair of tweezers and paint over the  wasps yellow stripes using liquid paper repeat this process with all the wasps to create a full stripey equine herd, the wasps are best placed in the middle of the zoo so that they can give the effect of wandering around the savannah.

For your reptillian section take a small soup bowl  paint it green and fill half full with some cold tea to give the impression of swamp water, now go to your local pond and hunt for a newt, if you are able to catch a newt bring him home and smother him in superglue and then roll him in some smashed up coco pops, when dry this will give the newt the impression of crocodile scales, to finish off superglue one of those metal crocodile clips to your newts head and you will have a super mini crocodile or aligator. adding some water fleas to your tea water will give the impression of large fish in your crocdile pond.

Most zoos include an ostrich or emu so simply go to your local childrens farm and purchase a small chick, paint the chick black and white and then place in the middle of your “savannah”


Of course all zoos will experience their share of problems and your zoo will probably be no different, the ostrich will try to eat the zebras or crocodile and the zebras may “sting” any of the other animals if they go too near so always keep a close eye on your zoo and make sure the animals get fresh meat and vegetables everyday.

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  1. Posted October 15, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    LOL You’ re a nut case. Don’t be surprised if some fool try these methods. Nice article.

  2. annie
    Posted October 15, 2010 at 7:43 am

    it does not helpxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. Robert
    Posted March 17, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    be very ashamed this is animal cruelty you idiot

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