I’m taking classes as an adult at a fairly expensive university in Long Island, NY. So I filled out my Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) and submitted it online. I applied for and received an PIN to electronically sign my application in order to expedite the process. It’s really become a much easier time than it was 8 years ago when I filled out a FAFSA for the first time. In fact, my FAFSA redirected me to the New York State Tuition Assistance Program (TAP) website and filled it out for me. What wonderful times in which we live.

This past weekend I got what I assumed to be a confirmation in the mail. Upon opening the letter, I received some disconcerting news:

My name and social security number don’t match.

This was news that took a while to properly sink in. At 26 years of age I have had adequate time to learn both my name and SSN. I have entered both on more forms than I could possibly remember. How could this happen?

“Maybe you mistyped your SSN?” someone said.

Setting aside the fact that I never make mistakes (…), I thought about it. I used to mix up two of the digits when I was younger, I wonder if I did that again accidently. I looked at the letter and saw that the last 4 digits of my SSN, which contained the two that I used to mix up, were correct. The first 5 digits were X’d out, but I never mess those up. Then I realized the clincher: I saved the FAFSA application and came back to it! To do that I would have to mistype the SSN twice the exact same way. No way I did that. So then what?

“Identity theft?” someone else offered.

That one seemed to fit. Last year someone jacked my credit card number and bought something shiny at Best Buy. Thank God for zero liability, I got it all back. But now it seemed that they may have clandestinely skated away with more than just reasonable prices on HDTVs. What in the world had they done? I wasn’t even sure how or why someone would change my name, but I was pretty sure that I needed to check my credit report to make sure someone hadn’t bought a house with my credit.

First things first, off to the offices of the Social Security Administration (SSA) to find out what of my information is incorrect. I think the DMV has gets a bad rap for slow service. They’ve come a long way in the last decade or two. The SSA is either still abysmal or is (shudder) better than it used to be. I’m guessing it’s not the latter, or else there would be unidentifiable skeletons in the corner of people who died before they could register for some identification.

So I wait. For an hour and a half. Considering there were 4 SSA representatives at windows and only maybe 30 people waiting, that seemed almost as ridiculous as when they told me that all my information was correct. I’ve been trying to piece it together all day. How in the world was FAFSA unable to match my name and SSN when SSA says they match?