You’re driving along on a two-way road. It’s late at night. You’ve just driven through a stop sign without stopping and you’ve been pulled over by the police. Here are fifteen excuses for going through a stop sign:

1. It wasn’t my fault. The stop sign kept moving.
2. I couldn’t help it. I have my cell phone in one hand and my coffee in the other. How do you expect me to pay attention to a stop sign?
3. I’m sorry officer. I thought it said go sign. I knew that I should’ve put on my reading glasses.
4. I couldn’t help it. I was thinking about my Christmas bonus. I guess that my bonus is going to pay for this infraction.
5. I apologize for going through a stop sign. I was on my way to the hospital. My second wife is having a baby. At least, I think it is my second wife.
6. I had to go through the stop sign. An evil spirit possesses me.
7. I guess reading the paper at night while driving is not a wise thing to do
8. That’s a stop sign? I thought it was a big red tomato. I think I’ve been drinking too much.
9. Did you know that stop rhymes with cop? Isn’t that funny?
10. Darn it! That’s the third stop sign that I’ve run through tonight
11. I was trying to get home before my wife woke up. It’s not easy seeing your mistress these days.
12. It’s my brakes fault. They just won’t listen to me. I would you like for you to arrest my brakes. No I have not been drinking.
13. I was blinded by the moonlight. The stars’ brightness overwhelmed me.
14. I was trying not to hit a skunk. I was successful. I only hit a pig instead.
15. I was falling asleep at the wheel. Why did you have to wake me up?