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Five Compelling Reasons to Rejoice During an Economic Recession

Published by Verniel Cutar in Offbeat
October 22, 2008

When there’s a worldwide economic crisis, it’s easy to worry and think of all the negative things that could happen. But from a lighthearted standpoint, there are many reasons to stay “positive” instead of resorting to panic.

The Recession Culprits Are Now Federal Fugitives


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Although “Money” was brutally murdered, butchered, and dipped in its own blood during the recession, the appropriate authorities have successfully safeguarded the other possible future victims. The crime scene was thoroughly investigated and blood samples were brought to the crime labs. Thanks to thumb mark indexing technology, the suspects are now being hunted and will soon be brought to court.

Closing Banks Can Now Sell Their Vaults For Retirement Fund


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The bank vault shown above is 76 years old, 2.55 meters high, and weighs 110,000 pounds! If the recession continues, this vault could be worth more money than all the stacks of cash remaining behind it (especially if the bank goes bankrupt, in which case, no money remains!). The good news is, managers of closing banks may choose to sell their bank vault so they can provide a retirement fund for themselves and their employees.

If The Dollar Loses Its Value, Here’s The Brilliant Solution


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In case the dollar loses its value as a powerful currency in the international market, don’t worry, because there’s a solution. We can hire teens and stay-at-home moms to construct origami designs out of one dollar bills (such as shown on photo above)! Then the finished products can be exported to other countries for say, $3.95 per piece.

Body Painting Can Temporarily Replace The Struggling Garment Industry


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According to recent news, the garment/apparel industry has been severely hit by the economic recession. You can view the news item by clicking here. Well, if things continue to go bad, we can take advantage of body painting for the meantime. Not only is it a good way to clothe ourselves, it also makes way for creativity and style. Although very few girls approve of “wearing” body paint, lots of MEN really think “it’s a good way to fight the recession”. Males, are we really thinking about the recession?

Politicians And Rappers Might Sign Million Dollar Deals


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It’s familiar to us that in the music industry, the rappers and hip hoppers own the “money, bling bling, women, and expensive cars”. One record deal by say, Ludacris above, can really bring in the buckets of cash. There’s a tendency that political figures will get involved in the rap world to save the plummeting economy. With all the records and albums that’ll be sold, who needs another ‘bailout plan”?

(ON A SERIOUS NOTE: Let’s continue to hope for the best for all the countries of the world, that we might all be able to get past the financial crisis.)

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14 Comments

  1. C. Jordan
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 8:20 am

    Very clever, well put together.

  2. Juancav
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 9:34 am

    When there is bad weather, putting good side.

  3. eddiego65
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 10:06 am

    An entertaining piece. Just what people need in these troubled times.

  4. Hein Marais
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 11:46 am

    Excellent Article.

  5. thestickman
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Cute. (I like the bodypainted wardrobes best!)

    -thestickman

  6. MJPatrick
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    Emo-comic. I like the funny side of it. Well done.

  7. Judy Sheldon
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Cleverly written and very entertaining, however, there are some people you really would not want to see with just body paint on. lol

  8. MMV Abad
    Posted October 23, 2008 at 1:28 am

    Nice article. Hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

  9. James DeVere
    Posted October 23, 2008 at 7:29 am

    xx oo

  10. Joanna Barnett
    Posted October 23, 2008 at 8:56 am

    Great ideas lol

  11. rachel
    Posted October 23, 2008 at 7:33 pm

    The economy has definetly softened but I still see thousands of jobs posted on employment sites.

    http://www.linkedin.com (networking)
    http://www.indeed.com (aggregated listings)
    http://www.realmatch.com (matches you to jobs)

    good luck to those searching for jobs.

  12. Christian Archer
    Posted October 25, 2008 at 7:42 am

    Nice tongue-in-cheek piece :)

  13. atherios
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    hey, nice article man, i think it was positive more than it was negative.

  14. Posted December 17, 2008 at 1:56 am

    Funny One.

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