Five Signs of The Zombie Apocalypse

Published by in Offbeat
26th Feb 2011

Cover of Shaun of the Dead

  1. Mass hysteria. This could be people running about screaming, a mass exodus from urban centers, riots, looting and the like. This could also be the sign of social unrest, revolution, or natural disaster, so keep looking for other signs before shooting the neighbors.

  2. Loss of Electrical Power. Two reasons this would happen immediately: First-Zombies have eaten the staff at the power plant and there is no one left (alive anyway) to man the system; Second-The staff at the power plant have fled so that they can say one last goodbye to their loved ones, and then try to not get eaten.

  3. Read more in Offbeat« Blaming It on The Stars-palpable Traits of The ZodiacTop Three Reactions to a Missed Flight! »

    There will be a lot of mysterious death in the form of outbreaks of disease of unknown origin. This will most likely happen in a refugee camp, as the living conditions and sanitation will be poor so it will spread quickly. Zombieism.

  4. The news media will be running right up to the very end, so look for stories about mysterious death, outbreaks of disease, and of course, zombies.

  5. Ummm….zombies….duh. These could be in the form of the classical slow moving, really stupid, oozing goo sort of living dead, or the more modern fast moving, learning sort. I personally think it will be something in between the two. They will be a sort of medium speed, oozing but learning zombie that will eventually remember that in another life he owned a Beamer, had a wife and three kids (whom he ate) and is horrifically late for his job at the bank and will never get that promotion from his tight ass boss (whom he also ate). This will lead to mass zombie suicide, but also a more driven zombie, trying to get ‘a head’ in the world.

Other important zombie stuff:

http://purpleslinky.com/humor/satire/how-to-prepare-for-a-zombie-apocalypse-2/

http://purpleslinky.com/offbeat/five-reasons-why-i%e2%80%99d-be-better-off-if-zombies-attacked/

  • webseowriters

    Very thanks 4 an excellent share

  • Roe2115

    The scariest zombie apocolypse I ever saw was Return of The Living Dead. The military had a contingency plan to destroy the zombies, and that included destroying a substantial portion of mankind. Firing a missile into a residential neighborhood. This movie left me wondering if zombie infestation could in fact happen.

  • Xandine

    Hehe, thx for post, very amusing :-)

  • rappeter13

    Nice one

  • Sam St. Croix

    All that stuff happened in my High School in 1971 after Alice Cooper played downtown one night. The school turned upside and inside out Monday morning. 2500 instant hippies.

  • lolontka

    LOL, loved it!

  • ashan1614

    Or these could all be signs of a “Tea Party” rally nearby. (LOL!). Anyway, funny stuff!

  • AvantPointGuard

    yes, we are living in post apocalyptic world–and yes, zombies are always late for their job at the bank

  • wordlesswriter

    awesomeee

  • TrevorS

    Ummm….zombies….duh. These could be in the form of the classical slow moving, really stupid, oozing goo sort of living dead,

    You mean Politicians!!

  • Patrick Regoniel

    Zombies are quite out of reality but many people are awed by it. Nice write.

  • Mary Contrary

    I have my Zombie Apocolypse Survival kit ready do ya’ll??? lol
    ;)

  • sandhee

    The real zombie apocalypse is when we dont care about everything again…and just live day by day without a purpose..

  • Commanda Panda

    I once had a book on preparing for a zombie invasion. Where did I put that damn thing?

  • sr66

    THEY’RE COMING

  • sanataryal

    Very well written article…appreciate it.

  • solidadah

    nice one.. :)

  • Surtism

    Shaun of the Dead is superb, Simon Pegg is a geek beyond words but an hilarious one! I cannot wait to see ‘Paul’ on Blu-ray.

  • alvarie

    Like a cranberries song, zombie

  • C Jordan

    Lol. Thanks Annie I enjoyed that and now know what to look out for…I’ll be keeping a close eye on the neighbours.