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I am a baldie. No hair. Just a shiny plate with some sprouts at the sides. The sprouts luckily are still black and are actually visible when I let my hair “grow”. More often than ever, they are invisible, cleanly blended into the bald plate by the razor or via the machine that trims hair to a minimum. The smooth clean feeling of having a bald plate where sweat can be easily swept off with the scoop of the hand or a dab of the issue is a convenience known only to people of my kind. As for the rest of the species, they are happy to have long tresses, which sweat in the sun and smell at night, which take up a part of the montly salary in maintenance and are the cause of dandruff and lice. So in spite of being the butt of jokes and pranks, I wonder – How could I have ever lived with hair?

After being without hair for a decade, I think I am now ready to list down the benefits of being bald. But I am sure these lessons will already have been learnt by the people without hair. So here goes:

Low or no maintenance:

A bald plate hardly takes any maintenance, unless you are a celebrity. If you are one of the ordinary beings, all it takes is a nice razor and some moisturizer. Who needs a comb and gel or a thousand other maintenance accessories for long hair? All a shiny plate needs is plenty of love with plenty of moisturizer. Use an anti dandruff shampoo once in a while if you will.

Highly hygienic:

How do you think so many hair care products manage to dole out rich dividends to all their shareholders? Thanks to dandruff and rough working conditions, hair has been demanding more attention than ever. And now, we have color as well. So hair care gets a new boost. A bald plate however does not have any scope for germs or bacteria to hold on to. And best of all, no more sweaty, gruff hair. A shiny bald head is just like glistening crockery. Wipe it dry with a dry cloth whenever you wish.

Stylish:

Bruce Willis realized it, Chris Daughtry realized it and now I think it’s about time we all realized it as well. Bald is definitely in. My wife says she married me coz I looked so smart with my ultra short hair. And now that I have shaved it off she loves me all the more. It’s a huge misconception that women prefer men with hair. I feel it’s contrary. Women simply love stylish and smart men. Flaunt whatever you have got. Even if it is a shiny bald head.

Well then fellas, now that I have listed the advantages of going bald, I think its time all of us realized that it’s not just comfortable but also cool to be bald. Which makes me sit back and wonder; how in the name of God could I have ever lived with dirty unkempt hair, ever? How could I have ever lived with hair?