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How to Fart on Purpose and On-Command

Published by kaio ken x4 in Offbeat
April 6th, 2009

Quick tips for learning how to fart intentionally. Make your friends roll on the floor laughing.

If you find this article vulgar or offensive, then please leave the article right now. Otherwise… let’s learn how to fart on command!

Method 1: Load the Tanks

This first method on how to fart on command is designed for noobs at intentional farting. This method does not bring instant results, but you will send a barrage of farts anywhere between 4-15 minutes later.

  • Step 1 – Go on a comfortable surface and sit straight up. A bed works best. Sit straight up, but still comfortably.
  • Step 2 – Fill your mouth with air.
  • Step 3 – Swallow the air, not breathe! Try feeling it go down your throat. This takes some practice.
  • Repeat – Steps 2 and 3.
  • Step 4 – Wait! You’ll recieve a flurry of farts a few minutes later, if done correctly.

Method 2: The Gas Station (a.k.a. Breathe with your Butt)

This method is for experienced farters on command. It recieves almost instant results, which is great for farting competitions. This takes a lot of practice, and when perfected, can bring hundreds of consecutive farts. This method works better with boxers on.

  • Step 1 – Get on a comfy surface (such as a bed) that is squishy. Make sure you are young/healthy enough to put your legs over your head. Now, put your head on your bed, lying on your back. Lift up your legs over your head, so your legs would be on either side of your head, and your butt is right in front of you.
  • Step 2 – Open your butt and let a breeze roll in. Try to do this as if you were inhaling air through your anus. Now close.
  • Repeat – Step 2 until you feel a fart coming.
  • Step 3 – Now, fart away! When you are out of farts, simply reload by repeating step 2 multiple times.

Now that you know how to fart on command, I hope you will make your friends/enemies die from laughing/pain. Putting these 2 methods together is possible, and would help your farting. Otherwise… see you next time! And wait before you leave, click “I like it!” below this article and please check out my other Triond articles! Thanks!

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29 Comments
  1. Posted May 19, 2009 at 9:28 am

    I can not understand what the big deal is about farts. My grandson laughs hilariously every time someone passes gas. What is so funny?

  2. Anon E. Mouse
    Posted May 19, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    Kids think flatulence is REALLY funny.

  3. ???
    Posted July 7, 2009 at 12:10 am

    whats not funny about farts they make ur butt cheeks vibrate and make weird noises and then they smell bad whats not to like??

  4. Jeremy Holsom
    Posted August 2, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Does this really work? I hope so. Some people are big and they want to do it, too. Do you neccessarily have to be in great shape to do this? Can\’t everyone do it? No matter how small or how great of shape you\’re in…

  5. Cap'n Jack
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    Jeremy,

    Fat people shouldn’t have any trouble farting because they eat so much junk food anyway. McDonald’s and such gives you the farts like no tomorrow, so fatties shouldn’t need this help.

    But you already knew that, didn’t you?

  6. IWannaFart
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    I love farts and farting, I hope this works, I need to fart a lot…

  7. Fraser
    Posted October 29, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    once i tripped over

  8. Posted November 7, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    once i farted turned over to see a man pass out on the floor

  9. Posted November 27, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    I think farts are funny i can fart on will to make ppl die hire me! 801-458-8091 My name is Desmond or dessy

  10. Farter
    Posted December 10, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    Just eat much spring-roll sauce. Every dinner half a bottle. After a while you can’t without it and you can fart on command.

  11. Spencer
    Posted February 4, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    Thanks now I can scare my freinds!

  12. Posted March 29, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Weirdos

  13. sam
    Posted April 22, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    srysly

  14. Abstraction
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Yo mamma so ugly they filmed “Gorillas In the Mist” in her shower.

    -Randomness = Epicness-

  15. javaman
    Posted May 18, 2010 at 11:54 am

    With Method 1, be sure to eat some garlic. Also be careful to not let it come out as a burp … force yourself through the discomfort and you will be rewarded with farting goodness

  16. javaman
    Posted May 18, 2010 at 11:57 am

    also eating a little baking soda or nibbling a little pece of alka seltzer

  17. chris wick
    Posted June 18, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    i can already do the breathing but thing i thought me and my brother were the only ones who could do it

  18. queef
    Posted June 21, 2010 at 10:50 am

    sadly no^^^^^

  19. You stole my 4 year old method.
    Posted September 17, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    I do that breathing thing for burping on command.

  20. Posted November 30, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    I wonder if u can fart really loud! Just kidding..o.o

  21. suck
    Posted December 15, 2010 at 8:23 am

    This post sucks!!! You are all crazy!!!

  22. Posted April 13, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    merry christmas i farted!

  23. wret
    Posted December 7, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    hahaha i love this

  24. Posted February 17, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    i love to suck my cock and burp and fart

  25. Yantung
    Posted March 13, 2012 at 2:29 am

    I finally farted

  26. Trevor
    Posted March 31, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    I Farted:)

  27. miely
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 7:40 am

    fart you think you want to fart soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny

  28. Chuck norri
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    Once at school I didn’t eat lunch then after lunch at Spanish I did method one until I had a Gallon equivalent like volume in me and think of a bi guest fart you ever had I did one of those every minute and a half all through Spanish class the whole class was laughing their ass off but I couldn’t laugh my aass off it already fell off

  29. Drizzle1
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 6:50 am

    Every time i try method 1, it forces its way out as a burp…

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