If you find this article vulgar or offensive, then please leave the article right now. Otherwise… let’s learn how to fart on command!

Method 1: Load the Tanks

This first method on how to fart on command is designed for noobs at intentional farting. This method does not bring instant results, but you will send a barrage of farts anywhere between 4-15 minutes later.

• Step 1 – Go on a comfortable surface and sit straight up. A bed works best. Sit straight up, but still comfortably.
• Step 2 – Fill your mouth with air.
• Step 3 – Swallow the air, not breathe! Try feeling it go down your throat. This takes some practice.
• Repeat – Steps 2 and 3.
• Step 4 – Wait! You’ll recieve a flurry of farts a few minutes later, if done correctly.

Method 2: The Gas Station (a.k.a. Breathe with your Butt)

This method is for experienced farters on command. It recieves almost instant results, which is great for farting competitions. This takes a lot of practice, and when perfected, can bring hundreds of consecutive farts. This method works better with boxers on.

• Step 1 – Get on a comfy surface (such as a bed) that is squishy. Make sure you are young/healthy enough to put your legs over your head. Now, put your head on your bed, lying on your back. Lift up your legs over your head, so your legs would be on either side of your head, and your butt is right in front of you.
• Step 2 – Open your butt and let a breeze roll in. Try to do this as if you were inhaling air through your anus. Now close.
• Repeat – Step 2 until you feel a fart coming.
• Step 3 – Now, fart away! When you are out of farts, simply reload by repeating step 2 multiple times.

Now that you know how to fart on command, I hope you will make your friends/enemies die from laughing/pain. Putting these 2 methods together is possible, and would help your farting. Otherwise… see you next time! And wait before you leave, click “I like it!” below this article and please check out my other Triond articles! Thanks!