Ever since the Industrial Revolution, our civilization has come to rely on mass production to meet it’s needs.  We have, grudgingly at first, and then, as dominos fall, more rapidly, given up the quality of “unique” production.  Even in the nebulous world of  moldy sandwich production we no longer cater to the desires of the few; rather, we lower the standards to increase the production.

One casualty of this approach has been the poor cuddly troll, whose gustatory standards have remained high, to the point that the entire population has suffered radical  and precipitous decline.  As noted trollologist, Dr. Ima Kidding, states in her stellar series of articles, portions of which are reprinted gratefully, although without her knowledge or permission, the modern troll, with an old-fashioned sense of smell and taste, is at a great disadvantage  when it comes down to suitable comestibles.  The lost art of moldy sandwich production stems, of course, from the time when Trollus the Not-So-Great devoured the original Earl of Sandwich, having first topped the late Earl with a tasty paste of mold and salivary slime (considered a delicacy on a par with dung covered coffee beans).

Image via Wikipedia

(troll scarfing moldy sandwich after having previously disposed of the Earl)

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(Edward Montagu, the first moldy Earl of Sandwich)

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(design consult team for first ceiling fan; first problem to overcome was locating a building with a ceiling)

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(Ben E. Hana and staff prepare fresh batch of mold for lunchtime sandwiches said to be the perfect accompaniment to birds nest soup, century egg salad, and octopus armpit stew.)

Image via Wikipedia

(early mold dryers were an important first step in the industrialization of the entire sandwich mold industry)

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(5kg block of illegally imported mold seized by Miami authorities during spring break sting)

In this rapidly changing world that we live in, it is good to see at least occasional returns to the roots of traditional mold production; it has become a lost art, and has paralleled the disappearance of myriad colonies of trolls, many of which have histories tracing back to the advent of sliced bread. 

One bright spot in this otherwise dismal litany has been the rise of yeasty, artisan mold sandwiches, which have begun to dot the backs of deli shelves and home refrigerators around the globe.  In San Diego, noted amateur troll watchdog, Bo (”Go Chargers”) Russo has been combing the aisles at local establishments in search of the elusive “perfect moldy sandwich”.  Along the way, he has pirated forums and blogs pertaining to the proliferation of trolls vis-a-vis the apparent demise of quality mildew and decay.

Across the oceans, in a remote corner of the globe (particularly hard to find given the spherical nature of the planet), celebrated rot refiner.  Roo baiter, and philanthropist, Dr. D. Duff DeDuffson, has reported (unsubstantiated at this juncture) that “Outback Trolls”(no relation to the sub-species “Outback Steakhouse Trolls”, which are found in overpriced, underqualified American eateries) are making a comeback, after having found a considerable stash of sandwich fungi in the old school lunchbags the good doctor had been storing in his old, equally moldy, school shoes.

It is finds like these that have provided hope for the future. 

All is not lost.