A wolf, a tiger and a pig congregate around a campfire one bizarre evening. One thing leads to another, and they inevitably begin to boast. The wolf says “every time I howl, the whole forest is scared”. The tiger says “that’s nothing. Every time I roar, the whole jungle is terrified!” The pig snorts (derisively) and says “Well every time I sneeze, the whole world craps itself.”

A global pandemic. A threat to modern civilisation. A hundred billion lives in danger (?) What will be reported next on Swine flu? As far as my number crunching has led me to believe, 4 of 100,000 cases have resulted in death unaided by any other illness. That’s 1 in 25,000. You have a better chance of being struck by lightning than dying if you get it. (1)

Does normal flu not result in a similar amount of deaths each year? Tell me if I’m missing something. Is an intolerable phobia of pig-flu the latest craze to sweep the globe ever since the constant threat of terrorism became auspiciously quiescent?

In a society becoming ever more bacteria-o-phobic (for lack of a knowledge of ancient greek), where will we get our immune systems from? Babies are sheltered from germs, kids aren’t going out and getting filthy and… well… teenagers I suppose are (allegedly) rife with STDs and fresher’s flu but that’s not the point.

Give your immune system some exercise- go outside without a facemask on! If you end up in bed for 2 weeks, sure, it’s crap but it’ll be character building or something…

I’d never heard that pigs could fly, until swine flu…

(1) – http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_odds_of_being_struck_by_lightning