Inspired by Juliane Elliot’s article.

My name spells as P-A-N-D-A. I was born in China. When my mom goes to the forest, I will accompany her to pick up food there. Mr. Quake, Ms. Croak, Mdm. Bleat, Mr. Moo, and Mrs. Bark are all my best friends. We get along very well. Triond has one collection of my album that is well-kept here. Below is my secret life to share with you.

Hey, why are you gazing at me like that? Haven’t you seen a panda nibbling at the carrot? Instead of eating bamboo, I think the carrot can help me putting on weight. Otherwise, my belly may become heavier and bigger.

My teacher gave me a lot of homework to do. Today, I don’t have a lucky choice to play with my playmates, but I’ve to suffer here doing this boring task. Oh, my god! There’s still a lot of work to be done so I’ve to get myself cracking.

“My baby boy, sit properly! Mom is going to tell you a story. Once upon a time, there lived an ugly princess but she ……….” Mom told a story with love, but I shut my ears to her lovely story as I fall asleep.

Today, I’ve a military training. The commander ordered me to crawl towards one of the enemy’s tents to spy at their attacking strategies.

Wow, what kind of flower is this! It’s amazingly fragrant! I’m going to put this on my body so that I can save on buying perfume.

This flower is indeed fragrant, but to whom shall I give it to? Thinking of this, I’m feeling a bit headache.

Save your breath, you’ll never succeed in persuading me to quit from learning Chinese Kung Fu. See my posture, cool right?

Oh, mom, how long do I have to sleep in this manner? Mom, when will you purchase me a mattress to sleep on?

Mom, forgive me, please let me in! I promise not to fight with Mr. Quake and Mr. Moo next time. Mom, open the door to let me in, please…..!

Baby, wake up! Mom wants you to see a sunrise over there! Come on, baby, wake up…!

Hi, friend, could you guess which my head is and which my buttock is?

Mom said a panda never swim in the water. She said I’m a strange panda as I prefer to be in water instead of staying high up the bamboo tree. However, mom discouraged me to do so. She said, “Son, you’ve to stop being a con, but start being a normal panda.”

Me: Help! Help! Don’t kidnap my friend and me! Are you doing this out of the goodness of your heart? Help, someone, please come to help me!

Kidnapper: If you pull a stunt like that again, it’s going to be inhumane right quick.

I’m out of luck as someone has left a small portion of food for me to eat. Though I eat less, I never grumble! Mom used to say, “Be contented, never grumble, son!”

Can you see me? I’m the one close to a big tree. Today, we pay our deep condolence towards the victims of 512 events (Sichuan’s earthquake) that took away approximately 65,000 innocent lives in Sichuan, China on 12th May, 2008. Rest well, friends, may your souls stay in a peace and tranquility land!

Well, uh…., are you ready hiding yourself? I’m going to find you out then.

Me: Dad, don’t leave me alone. I’ll miss you!

Dad: Stop crying and pull yourself together!

What are the odds that mom won’t turn up this whole day? Hmm, I’ve been abandoned! I don’t feel like playing this whole thing; want to piece it with me?

Leave me alone here! I’m not going to be in much of a mood to talk, though! I’ve gone down with chickenpox.

Camel jockey left a big box of boom boom under my jeep back in Kandahar. See, I’m up here! Hey, dude, you know, I’m just hoofing it out here in the middle of nowhere?

You conned your way into the job using false reference. You think I don’t know a skeleton in your closet?

Hey man, are you blowing smoke up my ass?

Me: Now let’s not dissolve into threats, all right? (I’m sitting on the green plastic horse)

Playmate: All right, I turn my back on you this time!

Mom, I got trapped in this strange tree! Help me to get down from here, mom! It hits me a nerve!

Wow, this is cool to drive me crazy! But, uh… this is the last shot for me to glide through this unusual slide!