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Stupid Answers for Stupid Questions
A Humorous look at some of the stupid questions I have encountered, some of which my late mother Joan Parsley, would come up with to get me laughing.
When I was growing up my mom always used to say, “Ask a stupid question and you’ll get a stupid answer.” And no one knew this better than our mom, who was the queen of stupid questions. Below are some of my favorites with some of my answers.
1Q. “Haven’t you got any money?”
A. “Yeah, but I thought I would spend your money so I wouldn’t have to spend mine.”
2Q. “Did you run out of gas again?”
A. “No. I’m just pushing my car to town for the exercise. Want to help?”
3Q. “Did you turn that light on?”
A. “No. A ghost did.”
4Q. “Did you just wash your hair?”
A. “No. I just stuck my head in the toilet to get my hair wet.”
5Q. “Did you get a speeding ticket?”
A. “No. The police officer just pulled me over to see if I wanted to race.”
6Q. “Are you a sleep?”
A. “No. I’m just laying here with my eyes closed.”
7Q. “Did you get a haircut?”
A. “No. My hair fell out.”
8Q. “Did you get your teethe pulled?”
A. “No. They escaped from my mouth.”
9Q. “Did you buy that car?”
A. “No. I stole it.”
10Q. “Why are the police here?”
A. “They said you sounded like a pig when they heard you snoring and thought they were at the new police station.”
11Q. “Where did you get that donut?”
A. “I mugged a cop for it.”
12Q. “How much money did you make?”
- “Not enough. I still have to go back to work on Monday.”
13Q. “Did you get your tax check?”
A. “No, I robbed Howard Hughes.”
14 Q. “Why are you watching television this late?
A. “Because I want to make sure it doesn’t sneak out of the house like sis does.”
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12 Comments
Oh Randy
I know many silly questions and you have just the right answers.
Good to read your work again.
Tim
hehe! those are hilarious!
Oh, fun! Yes, these are the questions never to ask if you want a sensible answer. (Still chuckling…)
hhahhaa – fun stuff!
Blessings.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt.
Loved it. I usually get highlights in my hair every summer. Well last summer I went a little to light and my hair was almost completely bleached. Our son came over the day after I had it done. As both our children have a key to our house he just walked in. I was sitting at the table eating lunch.
Q : Mom, did you bleach your hair?
A : No, son I just woke up and it was like this.
I thought Craig was going to roll out of his chair laughting because I said it with a straight face and never looked up or stopped eating.
Good job Randy
Nice one. I especially liked number 12.
Hah, I get these kind of questions all the time at school. Loved it
hahahaha,that’s funny
Why haven\’t I read your articles before?????
This is absolutely hilarious especially question 3 and 9. I am a massive fan of one liners and these I think are the icing on the cake. Marvellous.
Numbers 11 and 14 are priceless. Keep it up!
good read. As for the last one, I like trying to get your sister in trouble to divert attention.