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Ten Lies That Men Tell to Women

Published by John McDonnell in Offbeat
August 29, 2009

Recognize any of these?

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  1. I didn’t forget our anniversary, honey. I was going to take you out to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you by doing it a day late.
  2. I think your mother’s advice is definitely worth listening to, and I always pay attention when she’s talking. 
  3. Joe asked a few of the guys to help him with that project in his basement. I may be home late, and I may smell like cigar smoke, because Joe always smokes a cigar when he’s working. 
  4. The only reason I was looking at that girl in the bikini is that I was feeling sorry for her because she’s way too top heavy.
  5. It’s important for me to get the sports channels with our cable package because my boss likes to talk about sports, and it’s good for my career if I can talk to him about the latest games.
  6. I would love to move the furniture so you can rearrange our living room for the tenth time in the last six months, but my back is acting up again. 
  7. I’m happy to do the laundry once in awhile, but you know how I always shrink your clothes. 
  8. I would love to go to dinner with your friend Denise and listen to her talk about her relationship problems for three hours, but I really should stay home and work on our  income taxes. 
  9. I know you’d like to throw away my TV chair, the overstuffed one with the duct tape on it, but it was my grandfather’s chair and he made me promise on his deathbed that I would never throw it out.
  10. No, I’ve never noticed how tight your friend’s pants are. You know me, I never notice if women are wearing pants that are so tight you could read the numbers off a dime in their back pocket.

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3 Comments

  1. Posted August 29, 2009 at 10:37 am

    That is an interesting selection. I can\’t say my hubby has come up with any of them but he certainly has some of his own. LOL

  2. Posted August 29, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    After reading that I think my man’s in big trouble :)

  3. Posted October 22, 2009 at 9:31 am

    haha nice one

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