Ten Stupid Questions My Mother Always Asked Me
Remember how your mother had some stupid question she would ask whenever she wanted to teach you a lesson. Here are ten my mother used frequently and the anwers I wish I had given her.
Remember when you were growing up all those stupid questions your mother would ask you when she was frustrated, angry, or simply trying to make you do something you did not want to do?
I recall how my young self would actually try to give a reasonable answer to those unreasonable questions. Either that or I would mumble an apology or simply not answer at all as I was at a total loss for words.
Over the years, from time to time I would be reminded of some of those questions and an answer would pop in my head. Things I wish I would have said at the time, but either never thought of or lacked the courage to say.
This one is for mothers everywhere.
If all your friends jumped off the roof would you have to do it too?
My answer: Nah, we did that yesterday. Say mom, could you take some of my friends and me to the sears tower?
Eat those carrots! Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
My answer: No, but then again I never saw a rabbit eating cooked carrots. Besides, my rabbit eats those little green pellets are you going to make me eat those too?
Eat that spinach. Do you know that there are starving children in China?
My answer: Yes mom I know, and could you explain how eating this pile of green mush is going to solve world hunger?
Close your mouth. Do you want your face to freeze that way?
My answer: Say that wouldn’t be a bad idea then you could just shove all that spinach and all those carrots down my throat!
Why can’t you be more like your sister?
My answer: I was going to be just like her mom, then I remembered you told me to be a leader and not a follower.
Why did you do that?(this question is always asked when you spilled or broke something on accident)
My answer: Cause I thought it would be fun!
How many times do I have to tell you to close that door?
My answer: At least once more because it obviously hasn’t sunk it yet?
Haven’t I tried to be a good mother? (Whenever you got into trouble)
My answer: Yes mom, you tried like hell, it just didn’t take. Maybe you could try just a little harder.
When are you going to grow up?
My answer: Legally at eighteen, but statistics show it takes another 5 or 10 years before maturity actually hits.
Is this for Me? (whenever you gave her a present or presented her with flowers you had picked)
My answer: No, I got it for Terry’s mother next door, I just thought you might take it over for me.
In all serious though, as stupid as those questions were, and as much as I hated hearing them, I knew that those questions meant my mother cared about me. Perhaps, my answer to each and every one of those ten questions should have been “I love you too mom!”