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Ten Stupid Questions My Mother Always Asked Me

Published by martie in Offbeat
September 2nd, 2009

Remember how your mother had some stupid question she would ask whenever she wanted to teach you a lesson. Here are ten my mother used frequently and the anwers I wish I had given her.

Remember when you were growing up all those stupid questions your mother would ask you when she was frustrated, angry, or simply trying to make you do something you did not want to do?

I recall how my young self would actually try to give a reasonable answer to those unreasonable questions. Either that or I would mumble an apology or simply not answer at all as I was at a total loss for words.

Over the years, from time to time I would be reminded of some of those questions and an answer would pop in my head. Things I wish I would have said at the time, but either never thought of or lacked the courage to say.

This one is for mothers everywhere.

If all your friends jumped off the roof would you have to do it too?

My answer: Nah, we did that yesterday. Say mom, could you take some of my friends and me to the sears tower?

Eat those carrots! Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

My answer: No, but then again I never saw a rabbit eating cooked carrots. Besides, my rabbit eats those little green pellets are you going to make me eat those too?

Eat that spinach. Do you know that there are starving children in China?

My answer: Yes mom I know, and could you explain how eating this pile of green mush is going to solve world hunger?

Close your mouth. Do you want your face to freeze that way?

My answer: Say that wouldn’t be a bad idea then you could just shove all that spinach and all those carrots down my throat!

Why can’t you be more like your sister?

My answer: I was going to be just like her mom, then I remembered you told me to be a leader and not a follower.

Why did you do that?(this question is always asked when you spilled or broke something on accident)

My answer: Cause I thought it would be fun!

How many times do I have to tell you to close that door?

My answer: At least once more because it obviously hasn’t sunk it yet?

Haven’t I tried to be a good mother? (Whenever you got into trouble)

My answer: Yes mom, you tried like hell, it just didn’t take. Maybe you could try just a little harder.

When are you going to grow up?

My answer: Legally at eighteen, but statistics show it takes another 5 or 10 years before maturity actually hits.

Is this for Me? (whenever you gave her a present or presented her with flowers you had picked)

My answer: No, I got it for Terry’s mother next door, I just thought you might take it over for me.

In all serious though, as stupid as those questions were, and as much as I hated hearing them, I knew that those questions meant my mother cared about me. Perhaps, my answer to each and every one of those ten questions should have been “I love you too mom!”

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23 Comments
  1. Posted September 2, 2009 at 11:16 am

    This is great martie. All children and parents need to read this. Heartfelt and thought provoking. Love it! More!!

  2. Posted September 2, 2009 at 11:24 am

    Fun read. tx

  3. Posted September 2, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    Questions moms all over the world ask!! And they ask what their mothers asked.

  4. Posted September 3, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    HAHAHA!

    Great article, brought back memories of childhood. Funny thing is, I can see (hear) myself asking those questions when my boys are older, LOL!

  5. Posted September 5, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    This was a fun post. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Posted September 6, 2009 at 7:57 am

    Lol great article.

  7. Posted September 6, 2009 at 8:43 am

    very entertaining post. tnx for the share.

  8. Posted September 6, 2009 at 9:07 am

    nice stuff

  9. Posted September 6, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Clever! I liked it!

  10. Posted September 6, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    This is very funny. And, as a mother, I am using those same stupid questions on my children. Geesh!

  11. Posted September 6, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    This is so funny and so true. Very creative… My mom always said if your friends jumped off a roof, will you do it? And my mom for some reason always compared me to my brother. That really got under my skin. But I am over it. We are both good enough.

  12. Posted September 6, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    Good stuff, didn’t care too much for the flashback I received upon reading this, but well worth it. Ef you and your stupid ass questions MOM!

  13. Posted September 6, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    It is otherwise a very good stuff to read except the name itself.It could be innocent question rather than stupid question.

  14. Posted September 6, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Cool article. :)

  15. Posted September 6, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    Aww nice! :-)

  16. Posted September 6, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    I enjoyed reading this. Made me think make to question my mom asked.

  17. Posted September 6, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    This is a great article! So true on the answers, too

  18. Posted September 6, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    Great article, quite amuzing, but the sad thing is I find myself asking some of those questions, and my kids (my daughter more so) has some of the same answers you had
    Thanx for the laughter, it brought back some memories

  19. Posted September 7, 2009 at 12:23 am

    lol…my husband always says mom’s ask too many questions. Maybe he got asked the same ones.

  20. Posted September 7, 2009 at 12:36 am

    Very cute! Interesting questions and great answers. I liked that although it was humorous throughout the article, you added seriousness at the end. Nicely done!

  21. Posted September 7, 2009 at 4:18 am

    That was a nice read, I remember all those questions aswell.

  22. Posted September 7, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Entertaining read. It did actually laugh out loud. Creative

  23. stephen mcclain
    Posted March 26, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    this is great i love it! this s steve btw your adopted son lol. love you

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