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Ten Things Men Find Too Sexy

Published by Mark Gordon Brown in Offbeat
September 27th, 2009

Of course there are many things that guys find sexy and attractive in girls. Then there can come a point where things get a bit weird and cross in to that area we might just call too sexy.

Men think about sex, and they think about sex a lot, so you might be amazed that something would be too sexy for a guy, but there are at least ten things that I think you may agree are too sexy, here they are. 

Guys find it sexy when a girl is into the same things as him, such as a sports team, or horror flicks. What could be better than sharing a favorite past time together? Guys find it too sexy when the girl starts looking like his favorite teams best player or the killer in a horror flick.  If she looks like a quarter back or an axe murderer, its not hot. 


Men love models.  Men fantasize about being with a woman who is a model.  Models are always hot, am I not right? 

File:Quentin Massys 008.jpg


Guys find it attractive when a woman isn’t afraid to get dirty. It shows that she isn’t going to be a demanding little princess type. Guys find it scary when the woman doesn’t look like she has taken a bath for months.  And before you say anything about the picture not being great, you just try to look up “dirty girl picture” and see how easy it is. 


Guys find it sexy when a girl works and spends some of her own money. It makes him happy to see her get the things she loves and wants. Guys find it too sexy when she spends all of her own money, his money, and money they don’t even have.  Also, and please note:  Just because you can buy anything you want, does not mean you should. 

Handbag by Liz Henry.


Men find a damsel in distress a bit of a turn on. It gives him a chance to be a hero for a change. Men find it concerning when the same damsel is in distress all of the time.  Well okay we might rescue her a few times before we clued in but I am sure eventually we would clue in.  Eventually.  Maybe.

Damsel In Distress by Gary Denness.


Men find it kinda sexy watching a girl shave her legs. S l o w l y… with toes pointed, in the shower, water dripping off her. Not so sexy when she has to shave her face though.


Guys get turned on by a little girl on girl action or cat fight. You know what I mean. Guys do not really get too many thrills by watching actual cats fight, well hopefully not anyhow. 


Guys find it sexy when a chick asks their opinion on something like which car to buy or what computer to get. Since women always think they know best, it is hot when they throw us a crumb or two. Guys really don’t like it when a chick tells them how to do something, like change a tire, or fix a computer.  And if the chick is a chicken telling a guy how to fix the computer, well that’s just wrong.

101_0157 by AlishaV.


Guys find it sexy when a girl cooks, or does house work in the nude. Can’t think of anything too sexy here. Doing dishes naked, vacuuming naked, mowing the lawn naked, whatever, guys are pretty cool with it.


Guys love seeing some skin.  A little tease is wonderful.   Careful that you don’t show too much as in the photo below, the one one the left is showing a bit too much skin and has dangerously entered the world of being too sexy. 

Lucy and the Fattest Woman by leekelleher.


One tip to any girl wanting to appear sexy, it helps to stand next to somebody larger than yourself.

Other Reading for Your Enjoyment

What do Men Find Sexy

What do Women Find Sexy

Songs for Lovemaking

Liked it
  1. Posted September 27, 2009 at 3:52 am

    LMAO… that was wonderfully refreshing! I will try to remember those tips on being sexy but I think I may draw the line at mowing the lawn in the nude as I normally have to dodge two dogs that are running round like mad things. I fear I would just be too sexy to do that one. teehee. x

  2. Posted September 27, 2009 at 7:30 am

    cute article.

  3. Posted September 27, 2009 at 8:17 am

    You made it super hilarious. All the pictures amuse me especially a hairy chicken next to the laptop. You don’t write articles inside a poultry do you? BTW Mark, just kidding.

  4. Posted September 27, 2009 at 11:34 am

    Brilliant!!!! If a girl had to shave more than me, the door would open!!!

  5. Posted September 28, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    Are you sure that girl in the last picture isn’t a man? You are showing your funny side, Mark. loved it.

  6. Posted September 30, 2009 at 1:29 pm








  7. Posted October 2, 2009 at 5:31 am

    this is cool and funny. Love the pictures too.

  8. Posted October 2, 2009 at 5:32 am

    ha ha ha, you said it dude. nice one.

  9. Posted October 2, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    Really enjoyed this one, hilarious and too true. Where you live, having Brenda mow the grass in the nude might be ok, but in most places she could get arrested. Cute chick!

  10. Posted January 3, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    That was almost TOO funny

  11. Posted February 3, 2011 at 7:47 am

    it was refreshing i will try to remember those tips on being sexy i think but i think i may draw will try to remember those tips on being sexy but I think I may draw the line at mowing the lawn in the nude as I normally have to dodge two dogs that are running round like mad things. I fear I would just be too sexy to do that one. tee hee. x

  12. Posted March 21, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    hahaha i enjoyed reading this ! :D

  13. Dude
    Posted August 7, 2011 at 8:41 am

    Only the girl on girl action one is true, the rest is BS. This is cmoning from a guy

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