I was about twenty years old when I had my first painful life lesson in love. He had lied. He had cheated. Then he had the last say by dumping me. Needless to say there was very little closure for me about this particular relationship. A break up ritual was in order.

Maybe you’re wondering what a break up ritual is. The explanation is simple. A break up ritual allows a person to vent their feelings in a way that doesn’t involve feeling like a desperate and emotional spaz while confronting the person who has done you wrong. I have also found them to keep me from moping for the next three months, at least in public. Some are as simple as burning a picture. Other rituals lean towards vandalism. A good example is egging his car.

I being the artistic being that I am decided I would fall into the evil clutches of love again only to be cruelly tortured. Something had to be done to prevent this horrific eventuality. Thus the anti love potion was born. It was born of every condiment in my fridge and every spice in my cabinet. I even bought a nice looking bottle with a cork for it. The rule was that if I ever thought I was in love again I would drink this concoction to remind myself how love could taste to me after the end of the relationship.

Whether simple, vandalism or just plain weird many individuals find a ritual cleansing to their emotional well being. Below are listed just a few that I have heard of, and their side effects.

The rebound guy.

Finding someone else that makes you feel desired is one way of the more popular ways of getting over the last mistake. While at first it can be thrilling and you do feel a sense of control I don’t recommend this particular ritual. First if you need a shoulder to cry on run to your friends. Desperately hunting down that loving feeling doesn’t help you feel like you have achieved it. Second, this ritual could also be emotionally harming to the rebound guy.

A burning.

Burn his pictures. Burn his notes. Burn the jacket he let you borrow. I like this one because it can symbolize getting rid of the old and making room for something better. It also won’t land you in jail to burn small things he gave you from the relationship…as long as they aren’t explosive.

Vandalism.

This involves things that are his. His house. His car. His locker. His body (assuming you captured him). These things will land you in jail! Don’t do them. He’s not worth it.

Self destruction.

These would include doing harm to yourself. Some girls do this to either punish themselves or to stop feeling numb. This is not a normal response to a break up. Talk to a friend or trusted adult. Seek help. This would also include emotional destruction. Don’t stare in the mirror exaggerating all your faults. Instead focus on your good qualities and why he’s crazy to leave you or how much better you are without him.

Eat.

Chocolate or sweets or ice cream. All of these taste good and make us feel a tad bit better. Mine is salt and vinegar chips. This ritual done in excess, however can be unhealthy. My advise is to couple this with a good chic flick. When the movie is done so is the binge. If you had a good cleansing cry as well, all the better.

Apologize.

Sometimes we are wrong and saying your sorry is a good thing. This can also be a bad ritual when he is in the wrong and you are just trying to make things better.

Create your own ritual.

A person feels more connected to the ritual when they have created it.

   I myself kept to my own ritual rule a few months later when I decided it was time for me to start dating again. Prepared for what was about to come I stood in the bathroom and tilted back the pretty bottle. I only drank about half of it before I threw up. I laughed as I cleaned myself up. Then I flushed all my bad feelings away.