Council Houses And Violence

its been 5 years since the word chav first appeared in our dictionaries and today those four letters sum up 92% of UK teens.

a chav can usually be likened to a neolithic caveman, living in a small cave with many other chavs, hunting in groups with ruedimentary knives and stones, they make fire and smell bad. 

A generic chav will wear a tracksuit and wear a burberry hat, some of them will be sporting gold rings that go green in the rain and most of them will be playing dance music in their phones tinny speakers. a chav will also use about 3 litres of asda deoderant every day to cover their smell, also a chavs brainpower will be limited somewhat as the cap they wear shrinks their head and brain, finally a chav will be sporting a skinhead look with racing stripes on their temples

it is belived that Jimmy Saville was the first chav and that he is the father of all chavs. rumours say that during ”jim’ll fix it” the 1974 tv show Jimmy released subliminal messages telling kids to become chavs into his dialouge, i was not alive for this so have no evidence to support these theories.

if the chav population doesn’t stop increasing by 2020 there will be over 2 billion members of the chav species. there will be so many that if you attempted to walk to the shops you would have been stabbed, mugged and happy-slapped 1200 by the time you got your groceries and walked back.

I’m afraid there is only one way to get rid of chavs, I am talking about mass chavicide, it is unfortunate we have to resort to this but the epidemic has spread too far, this is the only option.