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The Hirsute of Happiness: 10 Amazing Must-See Beards
Love them or hate them, beards are, for some men, an important statement about, well, being a man. For some it goes way beyond this, even. Beards and moustaches are transformed from an everyday statement to a work of art. Take a glimpse in to this world, but please don’t have too much of a hair-raising experience! Ladies and Gentlemen, the “hirsute” of happiness.
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The Fly Away Peter
“Don’t point that beard at me. It might go off.” – Groucho Marx
A slightly windswept look, this gentleman could be going for a job as an extra in a Christopher Lee film. Any of them. Subtly shaped to help any stray food make an easy and smooth transition to the mouth, this fly away look is inspired by Chewbacca.
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The Two At Once
“You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.” – G K Chesterton
Image Source
Do not argue with this guy – especially if there are two of you at his sides. With a movement that the naked eye would find it difficult to track, he will have your eyes out in a second. Perfect for persuading would-be muggers that they had better make do with little old ladies. -
The Cousin It
“Wisdom is in the head and not in the beard.” – Swedish Proverb
Of course, wisdom could be found in both the beard and the head – though it might be a sight to see this gentleman do an alcohol test for the local constabulary. A Twenty First Century take on Addams Family chic, this is the real IT guy around town.
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The Militaire
“He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man” – William Shakespeare
Beards may be a little out of fashion at the moment, but there is retro and then there is this gentleman! One wonders what the Victorian ladies would make of him should he travel back in time. Would they, unlike the Queen of England, be amused?
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The High Flyer
“Chins without beards deserve no honor.” Spanish Proverb
The piece de resistance here is the propeller on the chin. There is something about this fly boy that indicates a little, er, eccentricity, but he certainly takes his hair seriously! Two and a half thousand years ago the philosopher Herodotus said that if a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it. He had a point. Image Source – Image Source
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The Whirligig
“There was an old man with a beard, Who said: “It is just as I feared! Two owls and a hen, Four larks and a wren Have all built their nests in my beard” – Edward Lear
John Harford maintained that the whole universe is based on rhythms. Everything happens in circles, in spirals. This idea can be taken to extremes and here is possible proof. Simba”s Circle of Life pales in comparison!
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The Toff
“Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don’t mind going through a little bush to get there!” – Minnie Pearl
The trouble with being posh is that there is always going to be someone who is posher. It looks as if the horses at Ascot rushed by at such speed that they had a certain effect on this gentleman’s beard! In this day and age, though, being posh usually just means that you will pay more tax and take longer getting to work.
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The Holier Than Thou
“For me, the great problem growing up in England was that I had a very narrow concept of what God can be, and it was damn close to an old man with a beard.” John Cleese
Albert Einstein was convinced that God doesn’t play dice. With this particular take on Moses, I would at least hope that he was keeping his fingers crossed!
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The Curly Whirly
“It’s hell with that big beard and stuff. That’s the one bit I don’t like. Either you take out at lunch or you don’t eat. So I opted not to eat, “cause having to put it on twice is horrific.” Robbie Coltrane on his role as Hagrid in the Harry Potter films.
Where there is no extravagance there is no love, so said Oscar Wilde, and where there is no love there is no understanding. This rather understated beard could be said to be the epitome of what Wilde meant – in which case the gentleman here must be the most loving guy in the world!
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The Any Which Way
“Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she”d be your uncle.” – Alvah Bessie
Everything has a moral in this life. If only we could find it! The point of these beards (bad word gag, I know) isn’t so much to show off, though to say that their owners were not exhibitionists might be a slight mistruth. However, life being something less than a dress rehearsal, I have to point out an important part of the American constitution here. That involves something called the “pursuit of happiness”.
Perhaps this is the hirsute of happiness, but still, if you look at the smiles on most of these gentlemen, you get the impression that they are vigorously pursuing!
(These photos were all taken at various beard and moustache competitions between 2005 and 2007)
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32 Comments
Nice RJ. Yes, I agree with your opinion on these people.
cool article RJ
Wow that’s crazy. Great article article RJ
I liked the cousin it beard. I don’t think I could grow enough facial hair for it.
Chris
Think I might try and grow a Cousin It!
Great pics. I’ve published an article about facial hair and I think I used a couple of these pictures too. How on earth do they keep them?
The cousin IT looks like they just put some sunglasses on back to front!
I don’t think my beard can ever grow like that! lol. Great Article
I think I have met a few of those guys. Great article
If I got old I will try the High flyer beard one. lol
there crazy i hope there allredy maried cause i wouldent fall 4 a man with that beard
but i have 2 admit there pritty cool and good job
Uber funny! Jack Daniels hamster – is the best
Lol.. I don’t know what I’d do without your articles. If I ever need a good laugh, I just keep clicking on your pages. Funny and cleverly put together.
Fun article and those beards must have taken a lifetime to grow out. I wonder what these guys would look like after receiving an extreme makeover (lol). Good job, RJ.
God Bless,
Nelson Doyle
Great idea for an article. All of these men look very happy and mighty proud of what they’ve grown!
Awesome, i wonder how much hair gel it took to make thoes. Props to em for originality. the curly ones are really comical
wow there are some amazing beards in there kinda cool insted of funny >.
cool article. It must take some high level of skill to maintain some of those.
Oh, and I love the title.
nice shots…keep it up…
I was hoping for more variety. Except for the Holier Than Thou, they were all kind of the same beard.
that was pretty cool article!
Hairy fun x great article
Hi, is this your second publishing of this article? If I was able to grow a beard, I would pick the “cousin it” or the airplane one. Cool article.
cool stuff,that’s fashion for these men,great job RJ,
Do they gett greesy when they eat?
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Scarily cool, imagine trying to convince the pretty girls to kiss you while having one of those beards…
My dad has an entire photo album with his different kind of beards and moustaches, im not at all fond of it! Luckly, none are good (weird)enough to be on this list
Charlie please see picture #3…this is you at St. Patrick’s Day
They are interesting to see but I don’t know how anyone could live with that stuff on their face. They would be in the way and take a lot of time to groom. It would take some getting used to, I would think.
Great article, RJ.
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Did RJ Chamberlain really say he wanted to grow a cousin in it?
Woot a larff!